Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Decisions


Hey, all. Nothing new here except I have changed our Christmas plans after giving it a lot of thought. My DIL's mother died in August. Her children absolutely adored her. They are still raw and grieving. I don't see the point of coming here to spend a couple of hours with us when it's probably the last thing she wants to do. There is no need for it. Matthew actually agreed with me. I said the middle of next month, far enough away from the holidays to let it just be brunch, celebrating my birthday a little late. There's enough stress, I don't need to add to it. And, it doesn't matter to me whether we see them at Christmas time or later. So...I took care of that yesterday. I don't know that I have ever uninvited anyone before. I could feel his relief. 

Otherwise, same old, same old. 

17 comments:

Boud said...

That sounds like a good idea, stress relief all round.

Val Ewing said...

We have delayed visiting with the kids also for many reasons. This seems like a very good reason for the delay.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Grief is different for everyone. It is sad they are still grieving, maybe some grief counseling would help them.

Sandra said...

Boud, I thought so too. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and made the decision to just say it.

Sandra said...

Val, it does. It doesn't matter to us and it's hard on her.

Sandra said...

Far Side, I brought that up a couple of months ago. My son said she has been in weekly counseling since long before he knew her. As far as the rest of the family I have no idea. I met them at the wedding and that's it. I understand the siblings are all deep in grief. All I can do is stay out of the way and be kind.

The Happy Whisk said...

Very sorry for her mom passing. Mine did recently and this is only the second Christmas without her. First one was the saddest and I love that you thought of her feelings and uninvited. 100% a wonderful thing you did. Also, Happy Soon Birthday!

Lori Skoog said...

Smart move!

e said...

Good! No one needs more stress...

Sandra said...

Ivy, I'm sorry about your mom. Thank you for your comment, coming from someone who has had the recent experience is helpful.

Sandra said...

Lori, one of my few!

Sandra said...

e, yes!

Ami said...

Seeing family you love is good no matter what time of year. Holidaze have so much built in pressure, too. It makes what should be calm and enjoyable into a stressful situation.

Also, can you come over and make some soup here? I want some and I'm too lazy to cook right now. I think the emotional stuff that I don't want to feel is making me tired.

Bohemian said...

I had a glitch and lost some Blog contacts and yours was one of them and I couldn't recall your Blog's Name dammit... so, relieved when Today there you were in the Comments of another Blog and I could re-establish you on my Sidebar. *Whew* Sorry to her of the DIL's Loss... losing a Loved One around or on Holidays really puts a strain on the Celebrating of them. I know from experience, as Mom passed near Halloween and Dad right after Thanksgiving... and yes, I didn't want to visit and interact or pretend my Grief wasn't real and still so Raw, so you're doing the Dear DIL a Service with uninviting... it was the Right and Considerate thing to do. Merry Christmas to you tho', sometimes the Quiet ones are the best ones, we're keeping our Simple too since so much Drama lately that it's been exhausting.

Sandra said...

Ami, this is a stressful one for you. I am hopeful it was be peaceful with your immediate family with you. And the cat.

If you weren't half the country away, I would bring you soup.

Sandra said...

Hi, Dawn. We did lose touch. Nice to hear from you. Has life been more stressful than usual? That's hard to imagine! Yes, it would be a burden on here to keep a happy face when she just wants to cry. Later is better.

The Happy Whisk said...

Thank you. It'sa very strange thing because sometimes I still reach to call her or I think she's still around.