Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Twelve Steps, or Mahogany Risers Gently Sloping Into The Room


My name is Sandra and I am an HGTV addict. I have been watching David splash color, Constance make a divine room, Holmes tear down and redo other contractors messes. I've watched a house say 'Buy Me', and I've seen boring turned to fabulous by "our team of designers", all the while watching first time buyers leaping into the home market.


I can't turn it off. I need to see the vacation home in the Bahamas, the row house in San Francisco, the bungalow in Trenton. Bulging, tattooed biceps on pretty young men who get over-excited about lamps.


I've learned to stage a room and have contemplated trying it myself, but I would need to leave my chair and the TV to do so. I can put up a backsplash, but again I'll miss the latest design solution on 'Spice Up My Kitchen".


Do I need help or a new hammer?

12 comments:

  1. No...not a new hammer...you need to get well..LOL! These shows can get addicting if you let them, but I have a feeling that once you are better, that barn will be getting your staging attention!

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  2. LOL funny! I loved Alicia's comment about staging the barn! Reminds me of a Martha Stewart magazine article where she had a Thanksgiving Dinner in a barn! See that one? I think this should be your next project Sandra...Think of the photo ops! Tee-Hee!

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  3. If you are still addicted at Christmas (Hanukkah) - I'll pitch in for a step ladder. Or a Home Depot gift certicate. Or maybe a ride to Hazelden.

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  4. Sandra, your readers are coming up with great suggestions for your current predicament! I like Alicia's suggestion to use your new found knowledge to stage the barn. If Martha can do it, Sandra can do it - better. :)

    Hope you are feeling healthy and energetic soon!

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  5. I like the barn idea. Think of the blogging opportunities. It could be a real money spinner as we all become addicted to your splash~backed, spiced barn full of pretty tattooed young men. Don't know where you'll put the horses though...

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  6. change the channel. problem solved.

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  7. OMG, I need to connect to pay TV. I am totally missing out!
    I could get a million ideas to spice up my home and become totally depressed because I lack the cash to do so.

    "Love this post, very witty"

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  8. Alicia, don't give me any ideas!

    Debra, did Martha have animals in the barn during dinner? Dinner guests being serenades by animal bodily functions while passing the dressing, hmmmm.

    Britewife, you're on!

    Bonnie, Alicia is feeding the beast! I am better. Hooray : )

    Ganeida, now there's a thought. Make money off the blog by subliminal addiction vibes. Rubbing hands together with sinister intent.

    Ah Jules, that is the thing with addiction. The simple solution is unattainable!

    Liss, stay away from it! The glass tiles, solid surface countertops, state of the art appliances..... oh the cherry wood floors. Sigh.

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  9. OMG, I too am addicted to HGTV...I watch and dream but can't leave my chair to do a thing either! They make it all looks so good.

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  10. The sad part Judy is that I realize after watching all of these shows that I am a total loser in an unmarketable house!

    This is what going to the basic satellite service has done to me. No MSNBC, just HGTV.

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  11. Be careful, those shows always make me feel like a loser too : ) : )

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  12. After watching them you know you can't dare to have company. WHAT would they think! I don't believe I have a proper cooking triangle. : )

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I really appreciate the concept and sentiment behind awards, but I cannot participate in them anymore. I have too may and I have not got the time to devote to participating properly. To all who have honored me, I am grateful but I don't have seven more things to tell anyone about myself! And I'm a terrible passer-oner.