Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Wheel of Misfortune?

Round and round she goes. Where she stops, nobody knows.




Ever feel like you are moving but not getting anywhere? This is me lately. I know I'm accomplishing much of what I set myself to do, but somehow the finished deeds become lost in the myriad items still pending. As well as the things accomplished take so little time to be undone.


I paint the hallway and in a few days Howard has started up with his splattered slobber artwork again. I wash windows and Grace puts mud on the kitchen door because the only way to let us know she wants in is to jump, multiple times, leaving mud streaks on the glass.


I know, the world seems to be melting down around us and I am whining about dog slobber and mud. I believe I am finding refuge in the everyday in order not to focus so much on the vast problems around us that I cannot solve. So I focus on what I can; painting, cleaning, planning. A timeless coping mechanism, I think.


So in my desire to cope I find one project after another to tackle. The problem is, I am overwhelming myself! Which led to a strong talking to, me to myself. Slow down. Finish one thing before you plan another. Since this is Minnesota and it is November, get the outside work done first. There will be a very long, cold winter in which to clean and organize to my heart's content. Or, as is more likely, to forget all about it. This last is probably why I feel the sense of urgency. I know myself and it is best to strike while the iron is hot, otherwise there will be no striking at all. Which is why there is so much on my to-do list. I rarely 'do'.


So while I wonder when the next Wall Street bubble will burst, what piece of junk legislation will finally be passed as healthcare reform, how many more jobs will be lost to cheap labor elsewhere, how many more years corporate money will be sheltered offshore to avoid their duty to pay taxes; among just a few wonderings. I pick a paint color for my bedroom. I decide to save my pennies for a tin ceiling in my kitchen. I change my mind on a glass tile backsplash in favor of stainless steel tiles. My mind is sometimes drawn back to the problems of the world because I now need to plan for the money to pay for my schemes, which means waiting. Which is not the worst thing in the world. Instant gratification, I think a sad American trait many of us are unlearning.


Now to jump back onto the hamster wheel and spin myself crazy.

11 comments:

  1. Staying in our business and taking care of what we do have control over is often the way to sanity in an insane world. I'm enjoying seeing your home improvement projects. I hope that you are getting satisfaction for your efforts. Does Grace have access to the entire house? What color is your bedroom going to be?

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  2. Debra, We have lived here nearly two decades and I have done a little here and a little there, but mostly the horses have taken my time and energy (and money : )). I am in a period of renewed interest, but I don't know how long it will last.

    I haven't decided on a color. Lots of wall space, so I need to be sure of the color!

    My dogs live in our house like family members. It makes for more mess, but they are our babies.

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  3. Not everyone can finish one project before starting another, and not everyone gets a sense of fulfillment when they do that. Sometimes multiple projects really is the answer. I find I feel better when I do more than one item. I actually even play a game with myself. Do something for an hour, do something else for an hour, and yes, something else for an hour. Then go back to the first item. I do limit myself to 3 or 4 in the rotation. That way I feel like I'm making progress on multiple levels. The fun is when one is then done, and you can a new project to the rotation. I find it also keeps you from being bored or tiring of one project. Sometimes too, it helps with physical limitations.

    Good luck, and be sure and get a before and after picture of your bedroom and the painting project.

    I'm pretty excited actually about the prospects of finally a health care plan to take care of some of our nations citizens who've done without for far too long.

    Sandy

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  4. In a different life I would agree with you Sandy. But I work seven days a week caring for a lot of horses, so my free time is limited to a couple of hours in the afternoon. Of course, here I am online instead of busy! Anyway, I need to focus or nothing gets done because I don't have much time.

    I don't think much good will come out of this reform bill in the end. But we will see.

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  5. That wheel is spinning faster and faster! I agree with you that it is easier to control the things we can at home as opposed to the outside world...especially now! I think we all get that hunker down feeling when times start to get extra tough.

    I passed an award on to you ;)

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  6. My dream house is an adobe, made out of the colored mud that the dogs track in. That way it will blend better and I won't be cleaning half as much!

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  7. Ah yes! I run is circles to make sure I have something small to focus on. If I can stop long enough to remember to seek out beauty, (and it is everywhere)then I am ok for another five minutes or so.

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  8. Sandra, I hear you all to well. I am also on the spinning wheel of time and for all the same reasons. No one here but me to do all the work anyway, so no sense complaining. The lack of day light is a major hindrance at this time of year too. When I think about the worlds turmoils at this time it is enough to get me boiling! Hiding out seems to be a good thing these days.

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  9. Oh Sandra you are tiring me out! All will get done in time. Inside projects are perfect for those long cold winters. Enjoy the time out while you can!

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  10. I feel like this on most days too. I start a project and discover a "hidden" project underneath and move on....and then project #1 gets shoved to the back.
    I am soooo jealous of the tin ceiling! Our kitchen has slanted cathedral ceilings and it wouldn't work in there - to my great dismay.
    What color for the bedroom?

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  11. Alicia, funny how that wheel picks up speed as we get a bit 'older'!

    Debra, I am almost living in adobe, with all the mud the pooches drag in I could build a house!

    gsc, thanks for reminding me to look around at what I have. It's very good advice.

    Judy, I wear myself out. And that before I get out of my chair. :)

    Britwife, don't be too envious of the ceiling. It's a glorious thing in my mind....which is where it probably will stay!

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I really appreciate the concept and sentiment behind awards, but I cannot participate in them anymore. I have too may and I have not got the time to devote to participating properly. To all who have honored me, I am grateful but I don't have seven more things to tell anyone about myself! And I'm a terrible passer-oner.