Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Monday, April 6, 2009

We Should Have It So Hard

Poverty is the worst form of violence.
Mahatma Gandhi

I was looking for something and opened a drawer I haven't opened in a long time. I found this photo of Mark's dad & three of his siblings. They were poor farmers in Rhame, North Dakota. This photo was around 1924 and the children are from left to right: Mark's Aunt Hilda (who is still alive), Mark's dad Stan, his Uncle Clarence and Aunt Helen. 

When I think I have it rough, I need to look at this. Both of Mark's parents came from large, poor farming families. Mark grew up on a farm, in a large family without a lot of extras. They are a very close family and I don't think any of them feel they missed out on much. They did all go on to college and they all made a success of themselves. The hard work taught them tenacity.

My life was very different, my parents did not come from poverty and I had most of what I wanted and all that I needed. I used to think differently, but as I actually matured I realize that I was spoiled and something of a brat. I needed a good, swift kick in the toches. 

I can't begin to imagine what a hard scrabble life would be like. I really don't want to find out. I had enough change in my life when I moved from the city and took up barnkeeping. This photo makes me think, and I think about the new era of poverty that is upon us now. It may look different, but it is just as wrenching.

10 comments:

Ganeida said...

My mum was from a large farming family & she talks about making her dresses from flour scacks. They were cotton but rough, poor quality cotton. My dad grew up on a farm through the depression years & always said that at least they had food on the table & a roof over their head when so many others didn't. My brothers & I were very well provided for. Dearest & I have had some lean years & the boys in particular resented not having everything they wanted but it has made them prepared to work very hard ~ & that's not a bad thing. :)

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I grew up on a ND farm with our house being a basement house...literally..no top but 12" showing over the ground. All seven of us lived in this tiny 1 room basement. We were grungy most of the time but never felt like we were poor. My kids saw a photo of all of us in our dirt bowl front yard on beat up bikes, chickens and geese running around and dirt swirling everywhere. The first thing that came to their minds "gee, I didn't know you grew up poor" whereas I told them that being poor is only a state of mind. Everyone in the photo had a grin from ear to ear, we grew up to be successful in what we did and have firm morals. I have never felt poor but often look at that photo and am so thankful for everything that I do have today...but most of all...for the family that is in the photo!

Kacie said...

I love old time pictures... they really are worth 1,000 words!

Just Jules said...

I think this type of upbringing has more to say for a person then those who don't have to struggle.

Each generation strives to be one step better then the last.

My mom grew up in a house for years without running water and that was in town. My father went to a one room school house for his elementary years and didn't have it much easier in the houseing area.

We were raised knowing what to appreciate. I think it speaks highly of character in a person. I hope to instill this in my children. Hence, no video games, and knowing what things cost and where things come from matters to them.... I could go on forever.

My favorite post yet.

Sandra said...

I think character is built in many ways, but adversity is definitely one of those ways.

My Irish grandmother made aprons out of flour sacks, some of that material was pretty.

boylerpf, you paint a vivid picture. Wow.

I like old photos too, but my mother won't give them to me!

Jules, I just know you from bloggerland, but I think you will raise your children to be good adults. That's the feeling I get, anyway.

These four kids grew up to be good people who raised their families and lived their lives well.

Britwife said...

When I looked at that photo, not once did I think, "Oh, they look poor..."
I thought that the kids looked happy, and how strikingly beautiful they were (especially Hilda).
I constantly am telling our kids that money doesn't make you rich and that being poor isn't the worst thing in the world. As long as we have a roof over our heads and food on the table ....and LOVE = these are the things that are important. Not the fanciest of clothes or diamonds and gold.
My kids don't have as many of the material things that some families have (because we chose for me to give them the gift of my time as opposed to my working outside of the home) - and I think sometimes that bums them out. But I hope that someday they will look back on their childhood and not regret that they didn't have all the latest styles and new bikes every year. I hope they will remember the time that they had with me (even if it was just pulling weeds in the garden).

Britwife said...

One other thing.
My mom had it "hard" as a child. (Don't tell her that though). Her father died when she was 10 years old and my grandma had to raise the nine children on her own. They lived on the north end of St. Paul (off of Rice Street) and they were dirt poor.
The ironic thing is that she and her sisters are always talking about how they had the BEST childhood and that they had such good times - cooking potatoes in a fire outside with her siblings, or playing with the other neighborhood kids. Again, money didn't equate happiness.

Sandra said...

Interesting stories. After all of the overindulgence of children it's good to know some children hear the word 'no'.

Kacie said...

My mom also had it hard as a child. Also lived in a small town with no running water for years. They had to take turns going out to the little stream by the house to get water (and this was only in the 60s-70s!). And she remembers going out to "the dump" to look for shoes, clothes, and toys. Kids in school called her family "stinky Indians" even though they weren't native at all! Just because they had a darker hair and complexion than most. I have a lot of respect for my mom though, and it definitely shaped who she is today.

Sandra said...

No running water in the 60's & 70's was rustic! If deprivation builds character she must have a lot of it.