I need to take the time to smell the roses.
I lead a very busy life, much of it self-imposed. Rarely do I sit down and enjoy the moment, it's always something needing doing. Does it matter, does it really need to be done. Or can it wait. I missed a graduation party yesterday because I had my husbands attention for some work. Now in my defense, I don't often get him to pitch in and help. He is very resistant to my charms. And I did get some much needed things done. Then I look on facebook this morning and see the photos of all of the fun and I realize once again I missed a moment.
How many of these moments have I missed? A lot. I can't go, I have to take care of the horses. I need to get the barn cleaned. I am swamped with work because it's spring. You know fall is a really busy time for me. These are my common phrases. Slide right out of my mouth.
I know how it started. There was a time when I had so many horses to care for I really could not alter my routine. I had to stay on track if I were to keep order. After awhile it became habit. It became more work than pleasure to take the time to do something besides work. What got put off today has to be made up tomorrow. Mark was gone a lot and so the whole of the place was on my shoulders. I was younger, but it was a lot. I was so absorbed in my obsession that it didn't seem abnormal to me. Well, mostly. Once in awhile I would realize the insanity, but I did not look too long or too closely at it.
My life is easier now, but the habit is still there. Along with a tendency toward reclusiveness. So the next time someone asks me to do something, I will stifle the urge to say "I'd like to, but I can't. I'm too busy." At least I hope I will. Time is flying by me and I realize my stay here is not infinite. I don't think I want my life remembered only for the fact that I am a hard worker. I would like people remembering me to also reminisce about my sense of humor and my generous spirit. Who can know this about me if I stay home? No one.