Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

To Make An Omelette, You Have to Crack Some Eggs

Yesterday was wet and chilly. I decided instead of slapping a sandwich together for lunch that I would make biscuits and an omelette.
The weather is on its way to improving, rain-wise. It will become hot and humid. Ah, well.

I've also cracked a few figurative eggs lately. Since my father died I have called my mother daily. I felt she needed to have something she could count on in her day. I have never had a relationship with my mother, even as a child. As I got older we got along, but she did not know me. And I did not know her. Both of us have been surprised, I think. I found that she is not always as uptight as I thought and that I am more so than I could have imagined. Oh my.

I have known all along that my mouth engages before my brain, but the filter that I once did have in place has slowly been wearing out. When talking to one's elderly mother, this is not always a good thing. Just when she begins to decide I'm not so bad, I open my mouth and speak. She made a comment about a relative being too thin and I blurted out, "You're kidding. She has a butt the size of Europe." My poor mother nearly choked. I do need to clean that filter.

It is never too late. In my case this statement is more then a cliche, as I have gotten to know the woman who birthed me better and have been able to let go of any residual anger I may have had. We will never become the best of friends, but we are forming a relationship. At this stage of our lives, this is not a bad deal.

The other omelette, the one we ate for lunch; it was good. 


  1. you can make me anomlette anytime! Breakfast looks wonderful.

    Mother's... I hope my son and I will always have the relationship my mother and I never had.

  2. Things can shift with time ... although that was not the case with my mother and myself. We maintained a distant, courteous, superficial relationship to the end. Funny though, we could laugh together like crazy - no one has ever made me laugh like her. I hold on to that.

    It must be all the hard physical work you do that allows you to eat such yummy meals. If I ate like that I would weigh 400 lbs!

    My mother made bisquits to die for - looked like yours.

  3. gcs, I would be happy to. It is the truth about mothers. I think the mother/son relationship is so much easier than the mother/daughter.

    Bonnie, at least she made you laugh. I eat like that because I gave up caring about my weight. I am not slim. : ) But I am also not hungry. I chose eating what I like over my weight. *sigh*

  4. you humble me.
    you are calling her everyday?

  5. deb, I am. My mother was very dependent upon my father. He was older and dominant. Until now, she has never lived alone or made a decision without someone else's input. Or someone else just making it. Because my father was her life she has few friends, so family is almost all there is.

    My son pitches in some and my cousins do to an extent. But that leaves me as the mainstay. She did pay the bills, etc., so she isn't lost there, but my father filled a room and he dominated her life. She was 18 when she married the nearly 30 yr. old man who was my father. As a result I am not a fan of large age differences.

  6. This is an important post for me to read today. Thank you so much, Sandra.

  7. If something I wrote has helped you in some way, I am beyond pleased Elizabeth.

  8. Mmm. My girls & I get on though Liddy & I are very different. Like everything else in life relationships are risky business. You have to take risks to get anywhere & in the process you may break the odd egg or two but what the heck? Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    BTW I snorted coffee everywhere at *butt the size of Europe*. Oh, my! Please don't remove the filter. I need a good belly laugh every now & then.

  9. You are good to the core and you can quote me. I suppose because I lost my Mother when I was so young I have idealized our relationship to the point of sainthood, but according to those who really knew her, she was a heck of a woman and I wish I could have known her, other than by photos and family lore. You are doing the right thing, it is better to give than to receive is still a good motto. It speaks of more than gifts, obviously.

    And I would come any time for an omelette such as yours. Just let me know when.

  10. Spinach in the omelette? Looks great. Love is often a decision. You decide and then sometimes the feelings follows. I'm proud of you Sandra, it takes courage to reach out like you have done. I'm believing great blessings will come from your decision.

  11. I'm humbled by this post, maybe feeling a little guilty about not calling my mom more since Dad died. She's almost never home though, and has a social calendar that I could never keep up with, so I know she's not withering away.
    I struggle with the filter too, and often stick one or two feet in my mouth. As I get older, honesty seems to be the only sane policy, but I've spent my life whitewashing what I say around my mother, because we have walked on eggshells around her moods for decades. It's much more complicated than it should be. The next time I get tangled up in the drama though, I'm going to visualize making an omelette - a huge one with lots and lots of eggs! I'm going to have to make a real one soon too, thanks to your yummy picture.

  12. oh my......I can see my mother standing somewhere behind her. Even though she has started dropping by my house occasionally I am still not comfortable with it. She ranks closely behind my boss in terms of irreconcilability. There has been too much water under the bridge. And she is getting older and I must confess I am not sure that my brothers will take care of her. I tried explaining how OK's law of inheritance worked and she said ok or something like that. The woman still does not have a checking account.....which I found odd at 13. I can only hope that I may be able to help her make some decisions at this point.


I really appreciate the concept and sentiment behind awards, but I cannot participate in them anymore. I have too may and I have not got the time to devote to participating properly. To all who have honored me, I am grateful but I don't have seven more things to tell anyone about myself! And I'm a terrible passer-oner.