Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Friday, January 14, 2011

Jeff, Dorothy & Me

I watched the profile of Jeff Bridges on American Masters a couple of evenings ago. He said something which caught my attention; "Cynics are sort of crushed romantics."
I think I came out of the womb casting a cynical eye. Now I know this is probably not true, but that would mean I was a crushed romantic at a young age.

Although no Dorothy Parker, I'm not mean, I am the one in the crowd that throws the cold water. I'm the person who does not get invited to the party of happy talk. Somewhere in there I will insert a "You really think so", or "It will not surprise me if.....", or "But....". I realize that conversation with me often becomes a boxing match, or perhaps a chess game. Or, as is often the case, the other party, while their eyes are spinning in their head, says something about the weather. 

There have been times when I have tried to be like most people I know. Minnesota people. People who keep their opinions to themselves, at least to your face. I have tried to smile, keep quiet and quit bursting bubbles. I come across, at least in my own cartoon bubble, as a Stepford Wife on uppers.

Perhaps I am a frustrated diva who wanted, or perhaps needed, her own Round Table, surrounded by urbane and witty wags who hung on my every word, as I opined with smooth alacrity. In truth, I can't even keep my audience of dogs interested for more then a minute. Everyone needs a dream.

My original point, before I went off in another direction, is; I am off for another acupuncture treatment today. My cynicism toward this was dropped a few years ago when I saw how it helped a couple of my performance horses. Somehow in this upside down world of mine, it's animals first, two-legger sometime later. If I am going to be able to care for the animals into the future, this two-legger needs to turn that equation around for now.

I had no idea what I was going to do with that quote. I knew I wanted to use it, so I did. Sometimes a person simply needs to go with the flow. Even when the result is convoluted.


3 comments:

  1. Such an interesting description provided by Bridges ... 'crushed romantics' ... Crushing can produce inner anger and in my experience cynicism often comes from deeply buried rage - justifiable rage.

    You may have made a link to your chronic pain here (by connecting cynicism, crushing and chronic pain in one post) ...

    Check out "Divided Mind" by John Sarno, M.D., who has a simple, amazing technique for ridding oneself of chronic pain (even if it occurs where you have previously injured yourself) by dealing in a very benign way with past and current unconscious rage.

    BTW - I like where your 'flow' takes you - it's always a pleasure to read your beautifully written posts.

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  2. This is such a beautifully written, winding post. I have some similar characteristics, I think, and I'm terribly self-conscious about that part of me (cynical, argumentative, etc.).

    As for acupuncture and general self-care, self-healing, etc. -- well, I don't have horses, but I do have children and they've reaped benefits well before I have! The old analogy of the oxygen and airplanes has always seemed ridiculous to me or my personal experience --

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  3. You know the thing with crushing? It's what you do to acquire healing ungents & sweet oils. It can be a long & complicated process & for all the crushing you only ever get a few drops at a time. lol Just enjoy the process. I am so happy the pins & needles are working for you! ☺ ♥

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I really appreciate the concept and sentiment behind awards, but I cannot participate in them anymore. I have too may and I have not got the time to devote to participating properly. To all who have honored me, I am grateful but I don't have seven more things to tell anyone about myself! And I'm a terrible passer-oner.