I watched the profile of Jeff Bridges on American Masters a couple of evenings ago. He said something which caught my attention; "Cynics are sort of crushed romantics."
I think I came out of the womb casting a cynical eye. Now I know this is probably not true, but that would mean I was a crushed romantic at a young age.
Although no Dorothy Parker, I'm not mean, I am the one in the crowd that throws the cold water. I'm the person who does not get invited to the party of happy talk. Somewhere in there I will insert a "You really think so", or "It will not surprise me if.....", or "But....". I realize that conversation with me often becomes a boxing match, or perhaps a chess game. Or, as is often the case, the other party, while their eyes are spinning in their head, says something about the weather.
There have been times when I have tried to be like most people I know. Minnesota people. People who keep their opinions to themselves, at least to your face. I have tried to smile, keep quiet and quit bursting bubbles. I come across, at least in my own cartoon bubble, as a Stepford Wife on uppers.
Perhaps I am a frustrated diva who wanted, or perhaps needed, her own Round Table, surrounded by urbane and witty wags who hung on my every word, as I opined with smooth alacrity. In truth, I can't even keep my audience of dogs interested for more then a minute. Everyone needs a dream.
My original point, before I went off in another direction, is; I am off for another acupuncture treatment today. My cynicism toward this was dropped a few years ago when I saw how it helped a couple of my performance horses. Somehow in this upside down world of mine, it's animals first, two-legger sometime later. If I am going to be able to care for the animals into the future, this two-legger needs to turn that equation around for now.
I had no idea what I was going to do with that quote. I knew I wanted to use it, so I did. Sometimes a person simply needs to go with the flow. Even when the result is convoluted.