I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste.
Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) French Artist
Contradictions. We are made up of a series of contradictions. Some people more so than others, but it is, I think a common thread and what makes people interesting. Also frustrating.
I am a walking contradiction. I don't have religious beliefs and yet I can be preachily moralistic, almost Calvinist. I have an unease about people becoming so isolated in their lives as they retreat into the iPods, cellphones and twitter life, yet I blog. I don't care for coarse behavior, yet I can be as coarse as anyone if the right button is pushed. I am somewhat reticent and then gregarious. The idea of people going out shooting animals for sport is repulsive to me, yet I eat meat.
Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.
I say "God help me", but I don't believe in God. Yet, I firmly believe in the freedom to worship and would argue for that right to my last breath. I also would argue as forcefully that I should be able to be free from religion. I admire and enjoy beautiful things in life, yet I am always a mess. I believe people have a right to their own beliefs, yet I get really annoyed when those beliefs are uninformed.
I love my dogs and usually want to wring their necks. I think politically correct is a label conservatives came up with to excuse boorish behavior and yet I often fall into the trap.
I was urban born and raised, thought the country would never be for me. I live in the country. I like living in the country but would not want to raise a child in the country. I had one child and didn't want the responsibility of any more and I own 25 horses and all the responsibility that comes with it.
I love being around people and I seek solitude. I can take myself very seriously and I can laugh at myself easily. I can be smug and condescending and humble and self-deprecating. I believe one can only forgive if forgiveness is asked for, yet I don't have an ability to turn my back on people.
I'm simple, complex, impossible, easy-going, kind, hard as nails, hardworking, languid. Introspective, thick as a brick, intellectual and sophomoric. Friendly and withdrawn. I guess I'm human.