C'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell....
I didn't remember Chuck Berry wrote and sang this song. I tend to use those lyrics more than I should admit.
I'm now one of those old folks. It always shows in the hands. I took this photo to show a younger friend what happened to my hands since I was married till now. On the ring finger is my paternal grandmother's ring. The pinky finger is my wedding ring. I can barely get it onto the pinky above the knuckle. It barely clears the fingernail on the ring finger. Weight and arthritis (arthursitis according to my punning father) took their toll. When did all the crepe happen? My friend is 14 years younger, but at an age when things do change. We were talking about weight gain, body change, etc., you know...the usual. Things women have been trained from birth to fret about. Even me, who doesn't think she cares all that much.
I'm slowly working on weight loss, the ever annoying journey we seem to be on, for my health. But if I am honest, and why not be honest, I will admit I'm tired of being called morbidly obese. Also, if I'm honest, I don't normally think about my weight much until someone brings it up. I've thought about this and have concluded it's because I don't have the "fat kid" shame so many have. I was a twig until I reached mid-forties. The medical establishment has made certain I am fully aware of my morbid obesity. Which is bad and not bad. It's not good for my health. The bad part is the undercurrent of judgement and shame. Medical professionals still see weight as a personal failure. A character flaw. Perceived lack of control over food and a tendency to sit around eating chocolates all day.
See where that song lyric that played through my head this morning led me. You just never know what will be triggered by an innocuous lyric, or thought. As we old folks say, you never can tell.
15 comments:
our hands change, especially those that have done hard work with their hands. Oh to be thin again...but then what do they eat:(
When I told my trainer that my doctor said the chart indicated I was "morbidly obese", he was shocked and said she must have meant "a beast". And btw, my doctor is heavier than I, so the pot calling out the kettle.
My hands started aging decades ago. I like to think of them as hands that have done stuff, other than wringing!
Far Side, HA! I'll never be thin again, I just want to stop being classed that awful name. My hands did plenty of hard work. I guess it's a merit badge I should be proud of!
B & B, I like your trainer! The NP who was the worst to me is also as heavy as I am. I wonder what she would have said if I pointed that out and asked if she was seeking therapy for her eating disorder? I think it would not have been well received.
Boud, mine didn't. Or at least I don't think they had. It's the last couple of years I noticed my hands give me away! I do like the idea of using them for things other than hand wringing.
People, mostly men, always seem to have a lot of opinions about women and our bodies. I've gained a fair bit of weight since menopause but I'm trying to just living with it and not let it bother me. My weight was always a source of shame for most of my life because I was too thin, or so people would tell me. I've never dieted and thankfully didn't have a mother who did either.
Mostly I'm tired of other people telling how I SHOULD BE. Fuck it.
I've gained weight from working out which is odd sort of but not. It is from gained muscle which is fine with me. I have been under weight all of my life and was chided for it. So there is that. My doctors told me to drink Ensure when I was only 40. I've fought to keep weight on.
Weight is a matter that is too often misjudged. Going up and down in weight or constantly dieting isn't good for you either. Being able to do things at whatever weight you are is more important. If your mobility isn't good then how in the heck can you change a weight?
My MIL fought her weight all of her life and even in her mid 80's she freaked out over it. She was not built like Twiggy. She was built like a pear. Most of her life her weight didn't bother anything. It wasn't until she had kidney failure that all the finger pointing and what ifs happened. IF she had done this or that...anyway...
We are what we are. Love it or leave it and don't let a doctor's weight note get you down!
Pixie, amen! I gained weight during menopause, too. I was ok with it, I was just "puffy". And that was ok. The past five years something went haywire with me, my whole system seemed to turn on me. I gained a lot of weight. I am not denying I'm too heavy, I am tired of it being the first and last no matter what I say is not right. I'm tired of the eye rolling when I say I have a healthy diet, that I don't eat junk food, which I'm always told to leave alone. I just felt like saying something.
Val, muscle weighs more. That's something else often not taken into account with the useless BMI. It's so ingrained in women to feel they are how they look. I wish it would change, but I know it has not. What a shame the finger pointing started when your MIL got sick. People can be very heartless.
It was the morbidly part that always got to me, ovese didn't sound quite as ominous... ha ha ha... and Docs do like to remind you of the obvious, I guess it's their job to? I don't think I ever had youthful looking Hands, some folks have nice Hands and Feet, mine led a lot to be desired so it's not like they look any worse than they ever did as Time took it's toll, tho' Arthritis can make them look like Grinch Fingers.
Ooops, Obese... can't even spell check the damned word.
Ha! Dawn, my fingers go all over the key pad, some words I spell are indecipherable. Yes morbid obesity is a bad word to use and some seem to relish it.
Your directness is always appreciated, Sandra, and weight is something I struggle with as well in that I have too much of it. If I were sitting around all day snacking on treats like chips and sweets I would have no one to blame, but myself. We don't even keep most of those items in our apt, except for chocolate during the holidays and even then it's not gobbled up. I have been going to the gym here and walking on the treadmill, elliptical and bike reading for the past several months to get to 10,000/steps. of course, I DO know that figure is NOT a mandatory, but it's something to get me moving and listening to an audio book or podcast at the same time.
I haven't lost any significant amount of weight, aside from not gaining. Instead, I'm keeping mobile when others younger than myself share about of back, knee and other issues.
I wish you all the best in your goal to lose weight and I also hope I can work on my own this year. However, I am not making it a resolution because those are usually prone to failure.
Beatrice, the human body is a complex organism. If things were that simple we wouldn't need drs! Hormones, heredity, disease, trauma all play a huge role in who we are. To make it so simple as so many do is to make themselves look "lazy". I have lost weight over the past year, but considering it has been a year, not fast. All I can do is try and not get discouraged.
You are doing everything you can do to stay fit. I hope my pain will allow me to do more than I have.
Post a Comment