Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Is Time on My Side

The last day of July. That sure went fast. Time flies when you are having fun. HA! Truth is...time flies when you are getting old, it hardly seems fair. Another old adage: life ain't fair, buttercup.

This morning Mark said it looks like we may get rain. I said don't count on it. He quipped, you must be feeling pretty good, your sunshiney personality is showing already! Yep, that would be me. Little Miss Susie Sunshine. As I see it, if you tend toward the dark side you have more chance to be happily wrong than woefully right. Or so I say.

As is generally the case the last couple of years there are no plans for the day. I may roast and freeze squash as it is producing prolifically. I should do some household chores, I really should. Am I alone in this feeling of gloom? I think it's a long haul effect of Covid, not of having the virus, but of what its existence has done to our brains. Maybe. Anyway....

Onto the important stuff

I grilled swordfish marinated in garlic and lime for yesterday's dinner. A simple cucumber, artichoke heart and pasta salad rounded it out.

I found wheat weevils in two unopened bags of pasta. I've had them in flour over the long years but in the pasta was something new. They won't hurt you if eaten, but somehow the idea of it doesn't sit well. So they got thrown in the trash bin. Odd, after writing yesterday about food waste and then I tossed two full bags of pasta. I'm not at the point of eating weevils. Not yet. PSA: No weevils were consumed in last evenings meal. 

It's 10:57 AM and my day has not really started, unless you count several cups of coffee, a crossword puzzle and a blog post. I think this is it for the rambles from my mind. 

Ciao Bella Mia

Saturday, July 30, 2022

Hot & Humid...Have Some Soup

This will be me by the end of the coming week!

I can complain about heat and humidity because I rarely complain about the cold, except I do bemoan the heating bill. Remind me in January that I said this. Mark and Ken, who works with my hay guy, are unloading hay. Poor guy will come in hot and stuffed up. He's developed some allergies and hay dust is one of them. He refuses to wear a mask because it fogs his glasses. I'd deal with that instead of a tight chest, but I'm not a stubborn man. Stubborn woman, but that's an entirely different subject. Hay is expensive, more so than usual. Feeding fifteen horses is no joke. Choices made, choices lived. I won't be moving to a Mediterranean Villa anytime soon.

Summer has gone by fast, we are now entering the dog days, what I grew up calling August. Soon I'll be harvesting tomatoes by buckets full. I see my eggplants have buds and the cucumber seeds I decided to plant in June are growing well. I'm giving Ken zucchini and squash, someone who doesn't have any and wants it. Hurrah!! This is a good time when the produce starts to ripen. For awhile our cup runneth over with delight. The freezer gets stocked with plenty to take us through the winter. It's pretty good.

I added the remainder of the stuffing for the zucchini boats into the soup from a few days ago. I used two leftovers to make enough lunch for two people. I didn't notice while eating it but I see in the photo the oil from sausage and feta. It doesn't make the best photo but it didn't affect the taste. It was pretty good, especially considering I made use of two leftover items. Mark heard on MPR a couple days ago the amount of food waste there is in the US. It's appalling. The person said for every three grocery bags that come into a house the equivalent of one ends up in the trash. They said landfills are primarily food waste. We have one small garbage bag a week. I wonder if those same people who throw that much out still are, considering the price of food? 

My back isn't quite as painful at the moment so I think I will try some household tasks. It isn't easy for a particular person living in a not so particular environment. Fortunately, Mark wouldn't notice if half the house collapsed! Really.

Ramble for the day. Ciao Bella Mia.


Friday, July 29, 2022

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

It really is! It comes to a halt starting tomorrow but we have had a few gorgeous days to enjoy. There's been some deck lounging around here. Some wine has been involved, but it's social hour after all. I've been telling myself to enjoy life when I can and for once in my life I am listening.

Mark has had a week of unhappy news. First, an aunt by marriage and someone he really likes fell last week and broke a bunch of bones. She spent the week in hospital and is now in a care facility. It's going to be a long rehab, very long. Mark's uncle, who was a triplet, died about three years ago. The next bad news is the wife of a cousin Mark is close to had gall bladder surgery and ended up with sepsis. She's very ill. This is devastating news for the family. 

These events, along with our own health issues are spurring me to pull out of my malaise. Life isn't getting any longer and living it in a dark cloud isn't adding a thing to anyone or thing. It's not simple to change but it sure won't change if I don't put in the effort. This simple task of purposely sitting at my desk, writing anything at all, even if it's just about last night's dinner, is helping me. It's structure and my damaged brain does well with structure. I'm happy I made the decision to start up again and that there are a small group of people I interact with. It is beneficial in its way. 

With that said, last night's dinner😄......

Everywhere I look there is zucchini. Stuffed with Italian sausage, wild and brown rice and some feta. A friend sent me a recipe for ravioli made with zucchini instead of pasta. I'll probably give it a try, as I am overrun with them. Next will be tomatoes, but those I roast and freeze when I feel overwhelmed by them.

That's about all for the daily ramble. Ciao Bella Mia.

Thursday, July 28, 2022

Roses and Other Things

It's another mild day, on and off overcast. We go back to hot and humid starting over the weekend. The horses are in horse heaven with mild, breezy weather. So am I.

I used to grow roses in pots as well as in the ground. I would plant the roses that couldn't survive a Minnesota winter in pots and bring them in over the winter. It worked for a few years, until it finally didn't. All but the couple of crazy rambling roses have died during the past four years or so from my neglect. There's a metaphor in there somewhere. This was one of the potted roses, pretty. Lately I have been roaming through the aisle ways of the past, I suppose because of my limited ability to do much in the present. I was always a forward thinker, but things do change. It's just a fact. As far as the present, I am overrun with zucchini and a squash whose name I don't remember but resembles acorn squash. It's a prolific producer. I have prepped for dinner, making stuffed zucchini. That took care of the enormous one. I'll simply pop it into the oven when ready.

Keetah still cannot hear. I think this is permanent. The positive in this is she has adjusted surprisingly well. She is such a good dog, I'm glad she is with us. So is my little brat cat Frieda.

That's about it for the daily rambling from a fool who lives on a hill and wonders if she always will.

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

A beautiful late afternoon on the back door deck.

 A glass of Chardonnay in my 41 year old pottery "chalice" as Mark calls them. A lovely breeze, nice wine and an audio book. A good dog laying in the bushes and a very good man bringing in my horses. Sometimes one must take a deep breath and appreciate.

Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Ode to Zukes

Zucchini season is in full throttle. I remember back in the day when I felt it wise to plant two zucchini and two summer squash. Those things were stacked in the porch, on the counters, wherever there was a spot to set them. And....I continued to do it, year after year. Don't ask. There isn't an answer. The wild foraging animals had plenty of zucchini on the menu as the only option was putting them into the woods. In the mean time......

Zucchini Soup

Look at the steam rising from this. 

Because I had a compulsive behavior where growing zucchini is concerned I learned many, many ways to use it. Chunky soup like this. Creamed soup. Fritters. Grilled. Sautéed. Stuffed. Egg bakes. Pizza. You get the picture. It does freeze, I shred it. I haven't tried freezing it any other way. I'm sure it would pickle.

As long as I'm rambling. I'm a bone collector. I keep bones in freezer bags and when I have enough I make stock. Pork bones, beef bones,  shrimp shells, but mostly chicken bones. I made stock a few days ago, one for the freezer, one for this soup. I also freeze vegetable scrapes for the stock. There is something magical about making nutritious food from what is generally thought of as trash. I am my grandma's girl. Sometime I will write about Marie. I am so like her, even down to the bib apron I always have on. 

It's an overcast, mild day. I should be finishing the mowing but I'm not feeling it, so I'm not doing it. Yesterday was my burst of energy day, today is not. You take it as you get it. The fine man went to pick up a prescription and is stopping at Papa Murphy's for a pizza for dinner, allowing me total slugdom for the day. I did load and run a dishwasher and I made soup. Does that count as productive? I say yes.

Enough rambling on. I think I'll grab a book, take Keetah out to the little back deck and be idle outside. Ciao Bella Mia

Monday, July 25, 2022

Hello, It's Me

I scrolled through part of 2010 on my blog yesterday. I picked a random post and just kept going from one to the other. If you've been at this without having left for a decade you won't understand the still odd feeling of being here. It's almost like being an uninvited guest in my own house. 2010 was the last year before my brain injury, when the world went dark for awhile. My reaction was a surprise. Losing yourself is something a person cannot really understand unless it's happened to you. Brain injury very often changes you. Yet, you aren't unaware of the change. You may be if it is an injury which removes memory, but from those I know that's not the case. I do have blocks of memory that are gone, but memory of myself as I was is intact. What surprised me is my seeming acceptance of this thing which I have not been able to accept. I have spent eleven years mourning my loss. Yesterday I laughed at my humor, was surprised by my insight and, of course, amused by my ever present interest in food. I looked through the comments, remembered most of the bloggers, some I didn't. They are all gone now. There are a couple on my blog roll from those long ago days but they weren't people who interacted with me or probably I them much, if at all. Not from the comments I saw. I think maybe I am ready to put the period on the end of that paragraph of my life and start a new line in the saga of me.

Sunday, July 24, 2022


You can just see, there in the distance, what my intention for the afternoon was. The lawn mower.

If knowing it is there counts for anything, I knew it was there. I also knew Keetah was lying on the decking-which-has-seen-better-days, I had sat myself into a chair, pillow behind my back and book in my hand; ignored the old grass chopper and read in the mild shade of the afternoon. One more day of weeds in the lawn wouldn't matter one way or the other.

Saturday, July 23, 2022

A Fine Whine

We were supposed to have a storm with a good chance of large hail. The horses were kept in the barn, hail hitting the body is no ones or horses idea of a good thing. It got dark. Thunder rumbled ominously, the wind blew hard...drizzle. It drizzled. We still have a small chance of rain later this afternoon but I'm not holding my breath. We are officially in drought. The yard is brown, the pastures aren't growing, the hay fields will be sparse.

A damp deck, that's it. Mark's tri-pod kitty scooted past me when I opened the door to look outside, the bad girl never makes a break for it. I didn't bother trying to get her, she thinks very little of me and lets me know it at every turn. Mark followed her to the end of the sidewalk where she decided he could pick her up. Now she is meowing at the door to go out. A three-legged cat doesn't stand much of a chance outside. We will need to have cat radar for awhile. Good thing I think more of her than she does me.

On a different subject, I joined a book club through the county library system. They meet once a month via Zoom. Strange as this may seem, considering two years of Covid, I have never used Zoom or any other video call. I have a video doctor followup visit next month, I'll find out how many ways I can screw that up before I need to do the same with Zoom. 

I am a natural loner living in an area which doesn't help that tendency. When I ran the horse business people were always around. I also travelled to horse shows, clinics and training barns when I had a horse in training. There isn't much community activity here and incase you don't know this, Minnesotans aren't all that friendly. This is a closed community. I tried a few years ago to get involved; a garden club, a theatre and arts group, volunteering at the food shelf. Politeness but you aren't let in. I wasn't needed at the food shelf, there were so many volunteering, I was put in the basement sorting candy. By myself. There is a saying here. A Minnesotan will give you directions to anywhere but their house. It is true. I am not immune to being Minnesotan myself. I do hope to have some camaraderie with book lovers on Zoom. Too much time with myself has gotten very, very old. I find I'm not all that interesting. Not in constant doses anyway.

My deaf dog still barks, she is having a fit about something, probably nothing. It's as good a time as any to leave the page and see what she thinks is urgent. 👋


Friday, July 22, 2022

Bit by Bit, How Change Comes

Mark started to lament about a diet. I calmed him by saying you are not on a diet. Very little will change in what you eat. You will eat less  and that can be incremental. It seemed to work. Last evening we did have pasta, just less of it. A serving is 2/3 cup dry. I had half of that, which isn't unusual for me, and he had the full serving, which is less for him. I sautéed two medium zucchini which gave us a full bowl, along with a little sausage leftover from the stuffed zucchini the evening before. As long as I can fill a bowl or plate for him he will be fine. He never gained weight until recently and ate a lot. I understand. I was the same, but it only lasted into my forties, so he had a long run. He will lose weight, I will not. Que sera sera.

I watched the January 6 hearing last night. I read FOX didn't air it. I don't think it matters that they didn't. I'm an armchair analyst, I know, but (there's always a but), holy moly Rocky. Is a president a King? What does it take? 

Anyway....we are potentially in for some serious weather overnight and into tomorrow. The weather gods don't care what I say, but I say it anyway. Please, just rain. We desperately need rain.

Mark just told me he's brought in more zucchini. We overflow! 

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Tarnished Oldies

Mark had another doctor appointment today, a urologist. Mark's dad died from prostate cancer and two brothers have it. He is scheduled for an MRI and then a biopsy next month. It feels like a lot at once and I do not handle stress at all well since my TBI. The queen of stress management loses it pretty fast these days. Just telling me this set me off this morning. I now feel drained of what little energy I had. In the span of a month Mark has been told he's pre-diabetic, had a cancerous growth removed from his arm and now this. My damaged brain is jumbled. Aging and health issues, they go together like a horse and carriage.

Mark was told by his primary losing some weight would be helpful regarding the diabetes. The doctor today said losing some weight would be helpful. Mark isn't particularly overweight, not like me, he has that man belly many older males get. Everything else is trim, there is just that gut. All month I've been tying to get him to understand he has to be more careful about his carb intake, like talking to a brick wall. Today he's gung-ho about weight loss. Whatever works, it got through to him. 

Which brings me to this relic. It's about 15 years old but it still works. At least it did the last time I stepped on it. I call it my passage to nowhere. My inability to walk wasn't helped by the treadmill, it caused too much pain. What has helped is my pedal machine. I'm now at a place where I think I can do some short bouts going nowhere slow. Mark does all the barn work and handles and feeds the horses so exercise isn't an issue for him. He gets plenty of walking and lots of lifting. It's why I still have muscle mass at my age and current condition. At least that's what the physical therapist told me. I have an appointment next month with Pain Management and Rehab, I really don't know what it entails. As I write all of this I'm aware it seems we are falling apart! 

I'll crank up the old treadmill, take my slow journey, make smaller portions for both of us and hope for the best. Bette Davis was spot on when she quipped getting old ain't for sissies.

Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Cat Days of Summer

why, oh why, do they come at once?

The zucchini is prolific. Bill, my neighbor, brought me the summer squash, I hadn't the heart to say no. My one plant is the size of a small planet and producing like a rabbit. Yes, hyperbole, but just a tad. I'll be stuffing zucchini for tonight's dinner, sautéing zucchini just about every evening and shredding and freezing what I can't use.  Whew!

We have had a summer of heat and horrid humidity. Other than watering the plants and picking the zukes nothing is getting done outside. Today we are having a bit of a break, which is much appreciated. Mark got a call from the dermatologist yesterday. The biopsy came back malignant. The good news is he got it all, but Mark now needs to go in every quarter. It was a shock, but then we took a collective deep breath and registered the fact that he had a malignant growth which is gone. He does not have cancer. He'll be diligent to make sure he doesn't have cancer from a melanoma in the future.

Keetah still can't hear but she has adapted much better than I ever thought she would. I'm beginning to lose hope. The positive is she seems ok. There are many positives I need to remind myself of. The ancient a/c worked during the worst of the heat, Mark is strong and healthy, I am managing to navigate my ups and downs and the cats are happy to have the door to the screened porch open so they can luxuriate in the moderated summer heat. 

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Another Day, or, Yes It's Hot

I wouldn't be me if I let a week go without a trite photo of food. I am unabashedly me!

The first zucchini of the season, but surely not the last. I found a large one hiding under the plant which I will stuff tomorrow. I need to pick some more or I will have zucchini the size of groundhogs by the next day. I have two sweet basil and two Italian basil plants, they are flourishing in this high humidity, me....nope. The wilted lily, am I. Everything is being adorned with basil these days, not that this is a problem. Mark is a dutiful man watering all those pots and tanks. He'd rather carry five gallon pails than pull a hose around, which I understand if you can do it. I cannot do it. 

It's another quiet, sultry day. If this keeps up I may develop a southern drawl. I never came close, though, when I lived in Atlanta. I sure would like to do some things outside, but I tell you what, I am not made for this. So, I stay inside and dream of winter! Or, at least mid October. If I didn't have weather to complain about I'm not sure I'd have anything at all. Ha! Not likely.

So, Cara Mia blogosphere, enjoy your moments as they come.

Saturday, July 16, 2022

Hot Saturday in July

Where's Frieda?

Frieda developed an affinity for a hidey-hole between the old rocking horse that had been made for my son and the wall. She spends a lot of her time curled up there.

She was sitting on a kitchen chair this morning and I said to Mark she always looks like she's thinking. I said I wouldn't be surprised that she's running complex math equations through her brain.

According to my weather app the rest of this month is hot and humid. It makes it impossible to enjoy summer. We have a nice screened porch we haven't been using as well as an open porch. We used to sit there in the evening and we ate in the screened porch. It's just not comfortable in 70+ dew points. If I didn't have the horses we would be up in Grand Marais, next to the Canadian border.

I'm starting to get produce, the zucchini plant is doing its thing. Soon I'll be swimming in those marvelous green thingies. The tomato plants are huge, the plants all seem to love this weather I do not love. My eggplants are enormous and will be producing soon. The cucumber seeds I planted late have germinated and are doing fine. 

We moved the mares to the east pasture so the geldings can have their gate open, allowing them access to an area with more tree cover than the large pasture they are in. It's hot and although I allowed some trees to grow in their pasture, being able to get to better tree cover if they want is important. The mares two pastures are open to trees, so they are always fine. The mares have belly high grass to chew down. They are up to the task.

Keetah had a followup vet visit yesterday. We are still being told there is a good chance her hearing will return but there is no sign of that yet. She has adapted and is no longer an anxious mess. I felt so sorry for her, losing hearing and unable to comprehend what is happening. It's a relief for her and for me that she has come to terms.

It's mid-July, hot and slow on the farm. 

Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Keetah's mini-me, Frieda.

Keetah still can't hear. She has an appointment with the vet as a follow up, I don't know what, if anything can be done. As an aside, see that wooly looking hair on her haunches? I had maybe two weeks of limited shedding in June. She's producing her version of wool again. This is the only reason I didn't want a German Shepherd, they are horrid shedders.

I watched the January 6 hearing yesterday. There must be consequences. If not, we will know without doubt the rule of law only applies to the rest of us. 

I watched the documentary by the British film maker who was given access to the Trump campaign in 2020. The thing that stood out starkly was the religious-like fervor of 45's followers. I knew they are ardent, but this is rapture. People cry at these rallies, they shout out "We love you". An older man told Ivanka how much he admires her dad and was choked up with tears streaming down his face. This goes very deep and is not going away. It left me unsettled, really unsettled.

We are having a rare nice day. Minnesota has become tropical, having regularly, dew points in the 70s. If I wanted that I would have stayed in Atlanta. Maybe not. Anyway....perhaps I will find some motivation and do something.

This is the potpourri of thought mulling around my brain this morning. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Lovely Frieda

She looks like she's daring me. To do what, I don't know.


Sunday, July 10, 2022

Webs Weaved

Yesterday afternoon this little guy sauntered across the top of my computer.

 I don't kill spiders. I have a weird connection to them, starting at age 14. Kate, also known as my mother, must have become aware of arachnophobia because she suddenly had it. The way it works with people like her is, once it's decided it's true. Period. You go along because that's what you have always done. So she was terrified of spiders. My younger brother, Robert, had a harder time with playing along as he got older and this was one he wouldn't do. He was the Golden Child, therefore he had more latitude with her, but you don't challenge someone with her personality disorder and come out unscathed. 

The point is, a bunch of adults and one kid all pretended Kate was terrified of spiders, just like that. Which leads me to never killing spiders. I have attached my feeling of helplessness in the face of malevolence to these creatures. One day, just a spider. The next, public enemy number one, a cause, per se, of many manic scenes where we all pretended this had always been. Except Robert. It did become a reality because that's how it works, one moment they know they are lying, the next they know it's truth.

I let the spider go to the edge of the computer, contemplate the next move, make the decision to clamber down the back to whatever fate may await it at the paws of Frieda.

Saturday, July 9, 2022


A couple of afternoons ago I was aimlessly scrolling through Britbox and I came upon this. I remember watching this series on PBS when it was released in 1981. I am a sucker for British TV and Masterpiece theatre was my place to go.

I watched the first of eleven episodes. It's going to be a commitment but I will settle in and relive that time all those years ago and watch it again.  

The series is based on this book, published in 1945. The series is said to be accurate to the book, which would explain why it's so long. The American Library Association put the book on its' list of banned books because it alludes to homosexuality. It seems we have come so far. You cannot hear the sarcasm and it's not possible to write it in. In his later years Waugh disparaged what he originally called his "magnum opus", finding it overmuch. I have not read the novel, I haven't seen the adaptation in over 40 years, other than the first episode, but I will say part of why I am a sucker for British period movies is that very quality, too much in a very British way. Maybe the second time around I will agree with the author. I kind of doubt it. It is the point, for me, after all. Also, Jeremy Irons really is rather beautiful.

Friday, July 8, 2022

Sage and Words

We've had tropical humidity for several days. I don't go on about that not being normal anymore, it's become our normal. My potted sage on the back deck thinks this is perfect, even if I don't.

I've been rather uncommunicative. I'm feeling the weight of our failing society and can't seem to shake it. Positive thinking doesn't work. I wish it were in my nature to be able to tell myself it's beyond my control and go about my business, unfortunately I am not made that way. Bright and cheery has never been me.

My dog is still deaf. I finally got through to the vet, she told me she's had a small number of dogs lose hearing with ear infection and they all regained hearing. I'm hoping. Keetah is to go in for a follow-up next week.

Mark saw a dermatologist this week. He sent tissue in for biopsy from Mark's arm and froze spots on top of his head that are precancerous. Mark is fair and he has male pattern baldness and a shaved head. He was told to wear a broad brimmed hat instead of the baseball cap he's worn for as long as I can remember. That's going to take some getting used to. I am thankful for my Mediterranean skin tone, I know it can happen to me but is not nearly as likely as to a fair skinned person. So, this is something more for Mr. Anxious to worry about and for me to stuff into my folder of things to pretend don't exist.

To end with a positive, the cucumber seeds I planted about a month ago are growing despite how hot it has been. Now that they have rooted they will enjoy the heat. All the vegetables I planted are growing like weeds, if they produce compared to their size I will have a lot to preserve.

That's it from my little plot of earth.

Monday, July 4, 2022

My purple potato salad! 

The purple sweet potato made a good substitute for the fingerlings I usually use. Firm and not sweet, a perfect combination with vinegar and tarragon. I don't like BBQ sauce so I use dijon mustard, liquid smoke and.....Old Bay. Not just for fish!

We had a wonderful soaking rain for three hours this morning. If all those fireworks the neighbor set off last night were what make the sky open up and rain, I guess it was worth it. There will be more tonight, maybe more rain? Maybe while they are doing their boom boom.

We haven't plans for this day, other than what we do every day. Monday is laundry day, so I'm doing that. Mark is cleaning the barn and Keetah is wondering what happened to her hearing. Mark said this morning the only member of this household that isn't damaged in some way is Frieda. Oh, good god, we are in trouble. 

Enjoy the day.

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Life's Complications

Today's Lunch

Mark got the results of his blood work and he is pre-diabetic! His A1C and blood glucose are higher than mine and I've been the one flirting with diabetes all these years. He has to change his ways. He has developed a belly over the past few years, even though the rest of him is lean, unlike me. He has learned to eat much more vegetables than I ever thought he would, now I need to get him away from potatoes as a mainstay. He's not going to give up his evening beer, so we'll manage his carbs around that. He has come to appreciate beans more than he did, that's a positive. I have ribs cooking and I made a potato salad with a couple of purple sweet potatoes I had that were needing to be used. I like potato salad with tarragon, vinegar and a small amount of mayonnaise, the purple has colored the mayo!


I am so surprised about this turn of events, never did I expect Mark would be teetering on the brink of my family's condition. 

On the Keetah front;  she has given some indication she may have some limited hearing, and then it seems like she doesn't. I have a little hope for her.

We have neighbors who are fireworks crazy, so last night it started around 11:00 and I expect tonight and tomorrow as well. They set off the kind you see municipalities use, it feels like the sound will blow the roof off. This isn't legal in Minnesota but it isn't enforced. Too bad. I will never understand the fascination, especially considering what it does to wildlife, dogs and other domestic animals. I've had several dogs that were a total wreck from those damn things. Yes, it makes me cranky.

I think I will end here before I find something else to kvetch about, I have a good-sized stash, believe me. Enjoy your Sunday evening, may it be quieter than mine.

Saturday, July 2, 2022

When it Goes Wrong

My dog came home from the vet Thursday very anxious. I assumed it was the stress of being poked and prodded. She settled down, but was edgy. Yesterday she was the same way, I still thought it was anxiety due to the vet visit along with having her ear treated. Yesterday evening I realized what is wrong. She cannot hear. Mark came in from feeding the horses, Keetah always jumps up when she hears the screen door slide. She stayed at my feet. I told her go on, it's him. Nothing. I said her name, nothing. She can't hear. I don't know what happened. I called the clinic this morning but they aren't open on Saturdays anymore. I looked up sudden deafness in dogs and ear infection can cause it, but only one ear is infected. It can be temporary. I'll have to wait until Tuesday and in the meantime hope she recovers her hearing. I had a basset go deaf. I thought he was sundowning, he got anxious in the evening. Turned out he had enough hearing to be startled by thunder and fireworks. He'd probably been losing his hearing over time because he never showed any anxiety, other than the sudden anxiety over loud sound. He was 15 at the time. They do adapt. I hope she doesn't need to.

Mark is spending the day with some siblings at his niece's lake "cabin" on a very expensive lake about four miles from our place. The niece lives in Missouri, they bought this place a couple of years ago and the brother, her dad, gets to use it as he wants. We had a light rain but it's supposed to become partly sunny and warm by early afternoon. So it's me, the cats and Keetah for the day. He'll be home in time to take care of the horses.

I brought these iris from my house in Saint Paul. I took this photo a few years ago, I think they are so pretty. So many of my iris are gone, grass can choke out everything.

I guess it's time to do something. Later.....

Friday, July 1, 2022

I'm Grumpy and I Know It

Today is better than it's been in awhile. The forecast is for hot over the next two weeks. It isn't my cuppa.

I've been navigating the insurance maze Americans must stumble through when seeking healthcare. I have been referred to pain management and rehabilitation and have tried to figure out if it's covered and if so, how much out of pocket will I need to pay. The online answers are ambiguous. I will probably need to spend a lot of time on hold to get an answer. This really is a sad state of affairs. I was put on a medication which is $500/month without insurance. $500  Yes, you read that right. It still costs me $46. I won't go into my usual rant, I'll let that speak for itself.

My dog needed to go to the vet yesterday because of an ear infection. She also needed a rabies vaccination. I don't know what happened at that clinic but all the vets are new to us. Walked out of there a lot lighter than we walked in. I have always been amazed at the price difference in small animal care and large animal care. Guess which one costs more.....yep, small. Not by as much as it used to, but still a lot. A few years ago my dogs had worms. I was given dewormer at $60, it had been put in a bag and stapled. The tech told me is was a special high value dewormer. I got home and saw what it was, something I could buy for a 1200 pound horse at $6 a tube. Can you tell I'm really cranky. If not, I am. 

Yesterday's court ruling regarding the EPA is just another indication that we are on the road to destruction. All of this is not helping my state of mind, which is tenuous at best. Anyway, I need to get it out somewhere and here is better than at Mark, especially now. The man has always been like an electric current runs through him, a high anxiety guy. He fell backwards on an asphalt tennis court almost seven years ago, sustaining a concussion with brain injury. We are a brain injured pair, which has it's challenges. Mine ramped up depression, his ramped up anxiety. I wouldn't have thought his anxiety could be any worse, I was wrong. He's been on a medication which tamped it down to almost tolerable but it stopped working. He's being weaned off that drug and will start something else today. In the mean-time, Holy Hannah. So I am doing my ornery rants here. Fun times at Worlds End, let me tell you. It seems I named the farm appropriately!

Let's end with my five years gone beloved Howard giving me the stink eye whilst sporting a nice horse manure stained snout. AROOO!