If you didn't watch the January 6 hearing today, do yourself a favor and do. Cassidy Hutchinson took the Chevy to the Levy. It was not dry. As much as we knew, thought we knew and what we've learned, it's worse.
I'll leave it there.
I've made an appointment with a new doctor for the end of the month. A big move for me and I'm pleased with myself for doing something. We all have our burdens, I am my own.
We have the last nice day for a what looks like the rest of the month. It's a windy day, which with horses in the summer is always welcome. It helps with the bugs.
Yesterday I reached my enough point. I made a decision to become proactive in my declining heath and mobility. One might ask, what took me so long? And this is a reasonable question. With some complicated answers. Looming over everything is grinding depression. I have realized I have always been depressed, even in childhood. It would be unreasonable to think a child in the control of a sociopathic mother enabled by a father who really only wanted to protect himself would not be depressed. The feeling was so common to me I had no idea. Then I had a traumatic brain injury in 2011 and the lurking blackness came out in full force. The depression was bad enough, not recognizing myself was another. Brain injuries do that, they can change your personality. I lost large parts of my memory and I don't remember 2011 at all. It's like we skipped a year. I did go on Prozac, which started me on some level of recovery.
I won't go through the long story, short version, I went off my med. There were a conflation of events leading to that choice, but I did it. I had said in the past it's not the best situation that a depressed person makes choices.
I've made another choice, a more reasonable choice. I tried to find out what is wrong with my body a year ago. The doctor was engaged and started with what seemed obvious. After tests and procedures, the obvious was not the problem. The physical therapy was not a solution. I dropped the ball, mostly because the doctor, who I had some confidence in, left the clinic. An easy excuse for me. Consequently, I have spent the last 18 months house bond due to an inability to walk more than a few feet. Sounds insane, I know.
Yesterday I went through the clinic drs, narrowing by location and gender. I don't want anymore male docs if possible. I also looked at age, which is unfair, but an aged woman's problems are only academic if you haven't experienced them yourself. I narrowed down to two. I'll make the decision today and set an appointment. One of the things which has changed in my personality is passivity. That is something I never would have been accused of! I plan to speak bluntly, as in one area in particular. I used to be on thyroid medication. I lost 65 pounds in a year without changing a thing. That doctor retired and ever since I'm told I don't need it. They do not do the complete panel and I'm going to say I want it done. I'll go back to Prozac, it gave me no side effects and was overall effective. Then we can discuss my pain and mobility issues. It's something more than stretching and exercise.
Sometimes the fog clears a bit and rational thinking has a chance to occur. This happened for me yesterday.
It's a beautiful morning, sunshine and quite windy, perfect for the horses and me. I'm going to put the upcoming extreme heat and humidity right out of my mind and enjoy the day. Maybe a little mowing before lunch.
I will spend the afternoon watching the 1/6 commission. I don't hold much hope for my country, I fear we are too far down the path of oligarchy for the fall not to be complete. I want to be surprised, I want to be wrong. I want, oh how I want to see Donald Trump and his co-conspirators indicted for sedition. It would be a hopeful step back from the brink.
I'll leave with a smile for the day.
I and my partner in idling sat on the small deck at the kitchen door yesterday afternoon. It was a lovely day.
The daughter of the first person I met when I started this blog got married. She was about eight years old and the sweetest little girl possible to exist. Friend's mother perhaps saved my life when she encouraged me to go to the doctor after having horrible pain for hours during the early morning hours. Then the pain stopped. Dianne told me she thought it was my appendix and encouraged me to see the doctor, she was right. By the time I was on the operating table it was about to burst, the surgeon told me he had never seen a worse looking appendix.
Time went on, blogging waned and everyone went to Facebook, including me. Three years ago I just left. Yesterday I arbitrarily looked at it and there was beautiful Sienna in a wedding gown with her new husband. I felt so happy! I am so glad I made that decision to look at FB.
Today will be more of the same; mowing. I'll attempt to get tomatoes planted, but it depends on my back. Mark got quite a bit of weeding done yesterday but he's now back to his office. By the time we get done it will be snowing. But, for now it is a beautiful day.
This is why we don't put a cap on ourselves. It was too steep when we were young to try. It sure isn't going to happen now. It's not snow covered now, 😉, this is the only photo I could find with the roof line. The bonus is a photo of a young Zinger.
It's a beautiful day. Mark is going to take some time to pull weeds. I'm going to mow, again.
We had a tornado alert last night, crazy wind and then rain. No tornado, but the weather was intense. I see this becoming our new normal. A small town in southern Minnesota got wiped out, a town I hadn't heard of. Tornados in May...not the old normal. We are adjusting what's normal.
It's a dreary, windy day. The horses love it, the no-see-ems have hatched and are bothersome to them. Next will come gnats. Windy days are welcome in their world. It's also cool, another welcome as far as they are concerned. They may be desert horses, but they are from Minnesota.
This was the outdoor arena. It hasn't been a riding arena since 2012, I used it as a large vegetable garden for four years, ending in 2017. The fence line became overgrown with wild grapevine, Mark pulled it off last month. So many of the posts had rotted and just toppled over without the support of the vines.
Mark is too busy to get the fencing taken down right now. Realistically, it could be July before it's gone.