Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Sunday, December 4, 2022

Sunny Sunday

The sun is shining and we will reach the low 30s F today. The horses have hay, we have an almost unlimited supply of wood and one ton of wood pellets. The freezers are full and I have a grocery order to pick up tomorrow.  The roof is still over our heads and Frieda is still getting into trouble. This is to say;  I am looking on the bright side. A place I do have trouble visiting. I am poking my head in just a bit.

That all said, and perhaps this is on the bright side, Mark brought up Christmas last evening. Poor guy, he's been worrying about this. He mentioned, hesitantly, that he didn't think I'd be able to host. I told him he is absolutely right. The relief on his face was monumental. He was certain I would resist. I keep telling him I have a practical side that keeps me from stubbornly doing things, or attempting to do those things, which I cannot. I wear out running a bead of caulk along a window. How am I going to do Christmas? I'm not. I will text the son today and ask him if he is willing. If not, we can skip it. Christmas was never a religious holiday in my family. Christmas has always been a time of stress, a panicky feeling. My mother really went on a rage during that time. There are not joyous, warm and cozy memories for us, including my son. He spent his life with it, too. The bright side? Being ok with it all. 

Mark has made his siblings aware of his cancer, so there are lots of calls from them. He comes from a family of ten children and all are still living. So he gets lots of caring coming his way. I can hear him in his office laughing while talking to one of them. I am grateful he has so much support. 

We are a month behind on getting the Covid booster and our flu shot. Too many things have been happening at once. We are scheduled for Friday. 

And just because. Frieda doing laundry.

And a warming fire.

Look for your bright side.


Boud said...

So you had a rush of brains to the head and said no to exhausting yourself trying to host Christmas. Seriously, well done you.

There's no reason to make holidays into stressidays. I'm glad nobody's trying to urge you into it. Even if Christmas had been a lovely time growing up, there's no reason to push now! So just do what you're up for. Toast your toes at the stove. Read a nice book. Loaf!

Sandra said...

Boud, I did! He was worried I'd put up a struggle. That rush of brains worked.

I have a tendency toward perfectionism. It's better, but not better enough for me to have company. My son said he'd host, so this is settled.I will sit by the fire Christmas Eve and toast my toes and toast to our lives.

Val Ewing said...

I was never good at Christmas stuff. Too many expectations to live up to and when I was younger it seemed it was all about the money which we didn't have. My first husband would go out and spend so much that we'd spend until June just trying to make up.
All because he wanted to appear to look as if we had the Best Christmas, Best Tree, Most Gifts, and well, you get it....

My mom as she got older got more bitter especially about Christmas and she was at least a six hour drive away so that saved us from having to go see her.

Christmas here? It will be like all others in the past years. The dog and hubby will exchange gifts and I'll wrap something up for me and put it on the chair.
We'll have lasagna and go to bed early.

Stress Free - worry free - with no family baggage from hither and yon.

That was an excellent decision!

Sandra said...

Mark and I stopped exchanging gifts decades ago, Val. The past 4 years my son agreed we didn't need to do that anymore. I love that the two of them exchange gifts, that's so cute! If you buy your own you know your getting something you want.

We had lasagna last year! It was just Mark and I. It was a good day. We are getting there, the baggage is heavy, though. For all of us. But moving forward gets you to the goal, doesn't it.

Lori Skoog said...

Same weather here today. As for Christmas....for many, many years we hosted anywhere from 30 to 45 people on Christmas Eve. They did not have family to get together with so we would have a big pot luck, wore jeans and no presents. Just a warm, cozy evening with the fire going and lots of food. Covid put an end to that and now we are out of the groove. Swedes are all about Christmas Eve, but we don't make it a big deal. Jenny, Scott and the boys come to the farm and on Christmas Day we just relax with leftovers. The rest of our family is in Las Vegas and Kansas City so we don't seen them very often. At this age, we are trying to unload things and do not need gifts. And so it goes. I'm posting a photo on my blog tonight of Val's Christmas Chair. Check it out! I am looking for the bright side!

Pixie said...

My dad always ruined Christmas too. I'm not a huge fan. Mark is lucky to have his siblings and even better that they are giving him support.

Good call on Christmas:)

Sandra said...

Lori, I love the idea of Val's Christmas chair. Thanks for showing me what she meant. I don't think I know 30-45 people! I don't know where I'd put them if I did. You and Gary are outgoing, gracious people. You may have been able to pull even me out of my cave if you had been a neighbor!

I've been clearing out for years and I still need to do more, how do we accumulate so much stuff?

Sandra said...

Pixie, I know you are familiar with the personality disorder I talk about and know it's a very real thing and what it does to those around the person.

Mark is lucky to have so much support. I am so relieved I'm not having Christmas. What a mess that would be!

Bohemian said...

I'm glad the Family came into Agreement about how to Process the Holidays in order to relieve stress, anxiety and focus on what is best for you right now. We've not made a big Deal of Christmas for the sake of Family Members who can not handle big Celebrations and would rather be low key for all of them, it works for us. I go out and immerse myself in it outside of the Home, then at Home we keep it Simplified and Cheerful. The G-Kid Force tell their Friends they appreciate that we adapted Holidays and Birthdays to accommodate them, they just don't like hoopla and so we do it all as they can Manage it, no regrets of Opting Out of Mainstream ways of Celebrating stuff. I'm so glad to hear Mark's big Family is a huge support network, that's crucial when you are going thru anything.

Sandra said...

Dawn, I'm not doing even minimal decorating this year. I have enough to deal with. My son is my only family. Mark on the other hand comes from a family the size of a small village. He has lots of people on his side.

You have a lot of different personalities to accommodate. That's a full-time job!