Everything sublime is as difficult as it is rare. Baruch Spinoza

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Life is a Crapshoot

 

I was knocked off my feet yesterday by some news, old news to all but me, that the man I was going to marry in the late '70s, but did not for various reasons, died in a motorcycle accident five years ago. I haven't known anything about his life since about 1982, when a mutual friend told me he had married. I had been pleased for him, he did want to be married and have children, which he did have. And grandchildren. This wasn't going to happen with me. I felt so sad. For his family and for the memory of someone I once loved. Long ago. I did feel there was some reason why Staying Alive was playing in my head when I woke yesterday. 

25 comments:

Boud said...

It's always a shock to get news like this, and to find it was years ago, too. We tend to assume people from our past are still around somewhere.

Sandra said...

Boud, it's a strange feeling, being sad about something that happened years ago to someone you haven't known for well over 40 years. We just have to feel what we feel and that's that. Still weird.

Sandi said...

My condolences. Let yourself grieve. It is a loss, though you have had many years in between.

BootsandBraids said...

Gosh! That was his way of letting you know, and I'm sorry for the loss of a big piece of your past.

Sandra said...

Sandi, you are right about this.

Sandra said...

B&B. I think so, too. I felt there was some reason, I just didn't know what. It took 5 years, which is strange.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

News like this is always hard to learn about and even more so when it had been such a close relationship and that his passing was so many years ago.

Rita said...

News like that can unexpectedly hit you deeper than you ever expected. I tend to remember them as I last saw them, too. Time...plays tricks on you.

Miss Merry said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I know the loss of some of my classmates really hits me hard. He sounds like he was very special in your life at one time.

Anonymous said...

I understand the grieve and the "shock" of loosing someone from a time past.
Whose memory was brought back to the present. He may have died five years ago but to you it is a present loss. The passage of is a mystery that brings back all kinds of feelings.

Take Care,
Kaye

Anonymous said...

I left out "time" the passage of time..is what I meant to say. Sorry.

Kaye

peppylady (Dora) said...

Death seem to a shocker in most case. May he rest peace.

Far Side of Fifty said...

So sorry, even old news can be hard to take in.

Anvilcloud said...

When 'lovers' part, it's too bad that they almost always lose touch.

Val Ewing said...

I'm not good at keeping track of people I've known however I understand the feeling when discovering that someone you knew is no longer with us.

Sandra said...

Dorothy, all true. Memories come forth that haven't for years.

Sandra said...

Rita, I was surprised at how shocked I was. Then I wonder why I would think I wouldn't be shocked. I never would have imagined dying in a motorcycle accident.

Sandra said...

Miss Merry, he was very special to me at one time. And I to him.

Sandra said...

Kaye, yes I feel like it just happened. I guess it did for me. I think how horrible for his family and though it's still horrible it's been 5 years for them. It's also bringing home I'm old enough for all those years to have passed.

Sandra said...

Dora, it is. He was a good guy, I believe he is at peace.

Sandra said...

Far Side, yes. I almost wish I hadn't heard of his dying.

Sandra said...

AC, at the time we just couldn't keep in contact. I saw no future and he did. He needed to move on, find someone who wanted the things he wanted. I was not that person and never was going to be. I'd had one divorce and that was enough. We could have been friends years later, but time moved on and people fade away.

Sandra said...

Val, I think it may be better to not learn these things about people in your far past. It can be a jolt.

The Happy Whisk said...

Hey Sandra.That is sad news. Interesting about the staying alive music. Not long ago I heard about an old friend that passed. We grew apart long, long ago. Still was sad to read of her death.

Sandra said...

Ivy, very sad, and weird since it was so long ago but not to me. Those who are in our past stay the way they were then in our memory. To hear they died, it seems like that young person died.