Roses and Other Things

It's another mild day, on and off overcast. We go back to hot and humid starting over the weekend. The horses are in horse heaven with mild, breezy weather. So am I.

I used to grow roses in pots as well as in the ground. I would plant the roses that couldn't survive a Minnesota winter in pots and bring them in over the winter. It worked for a few years, until it finally didn't. All but the couple of crazy rambling roses have died during the past four years or so from my neglect. There's a metaphor in there somewhere. This was one of the potted roses, pretty. Lately I have been roaming through the aisle ways of the past, I suppose because of my limited ability to do much in the present. I was always a forward thinker, but things do change. It's just a fact. As far as the present, I am overrun with zucchini and a squash whose name I don't remember but resembles acorn squash. It's a prolific producer. I have prepped for dinner, making stuffed zucchini. That took care of the enormous one. I'll simply pop it into the oven when ready.

Keetah still cannot hear. I think this is permanent. The positive in this is she has adjusted surprisingly well. She is such a good dog, I'm glad she is with us. So is my little brat cat Frieda.

That's about it for the daily rambling from a fool who lives on a hill and wonders if she always will.

A beautiful late afternoon on the back door deck.

 A glass of Chardonnay in my 41 year old pottery "chalice" as Mark calls them. A lovely breeze, nice wine and an audio book. A good dog laying in the bushes and a very good man bringing in my horses. Sometimes one must take a deep breath and appreciate.

Ode to Zukes

Zucchini season is in full throttle. I remember back in the day when I felt it wise to plant two zucchini and two summer squash. Those things were stacked in the porch, on the counters, wherever there was a spot to set them. And....I continued to do it, year after year. Don't ask. There isn't an answer. The wild foraging animals had plenty of zucchini on the menu as the only option was putting them into the woods. In the mean time......

Zucchini Soup

Look at the steam rising from this. 

Because I had a compulsive behavior where growing zucchini is concerned I learned many, many ways to use it. Chunky soup like this. Creamed soup. Fritters. Grilled. Sautéed. Stuffed. Egg bakes. Pizza. You get the picture. It does freeze, I shred it. I haven't tried freezing it any other way. I'm sure it would pickle.

As long as I'm rambling. I'm a bone collector. I keep bones in freezer bags and when I have enough I make stock. Pork bones, beef bones,  shrimp shells, but mostly chicken bones. I made stock a few days ago, one for the freezer, one for this soup. I also freeze vegetable scrapes for the stock. There is something magical about making nutritious food from what is generally thought of as trash. I am my grandma's girl. Sometime I will write about Marie. I am so like her, even down to the bib apron I always have on. 

It's an overcast, mild day. I should be finishing the mowing but I'm not feeling it, so I'm not doing it. Yesterday was my burst of energy day, today is not. You take it as you get it. The fine man went to pick up a prescription and is stopping at Papa Murphy's for a pizza for dinner, allowing me total slugdom for the day. I did load and run a dishwasher and I made soup. Does that count as productive? I say yes.

Enough rambling on. I think I'll grab a book, take Keetah out to the little back deck and be idle outside. Ciao Bella Mia

Hello, It's Me

I scrolled through part of 2010 on my blog yesterday. I picked a random post and just kept going from one to the other. If you've been at this without having left for a decade you won't understand the still odd feeling of being here. It's almost like being an uninvited guest in my own house. 2010 was the last year before my brain injury, when the world went dark for awhile. My reaction was a surprise. Losing yourself is something a person cannot really understand unless it's happened to you. Brain injury very often changes you. Yet, you aren't unaware of the change. You may be if it is an injury which removes memory, but from those I know that's not the case. I do have blocks of memory that are gone, but memory of myself as I was is intact. What surprised me is my seeming acceptance of this thing which I have not been able to accept. I have spent eleven years mourning my loss. Yesterday I laughed at my humor, was surprised by my insight and, of course, amused by my ever present interest in food. I looked through the comments, remembered most of the bloggers, some I didn't. They are all gone now. There are a couple on my blog roll from those long ago days but they weren't people who interacted with me or probably I them much, if at all. Not from the comments I saw. I think maybe I am ready to put the period on the end of that paragraph of my life and start a new line in the saga of me.

Idling

You can just see, there in the distance, what my intention for the afternoon was. The lawn mower.

If knowing it is there counts for anything, I knew it was there. I also knew Keetah was lying on the decking-which-has-seen-better-days, I had sat myself into a chair, pillow behind my back and book in my hand; ignored the old grass chopper and read in the mild shade of the afternoon. One more day of weeds in the lawn wouldn't matter one way or the other.

A Fine Whine

We were supposed to have a storm with a good chance of large hail. The horses were kept in the barn, hail hitting the body is no ones or horses idea of a good thing. It got dark. Thunder rumbled ominously, the wind blew hard...drizzle. It drizzled. We still have a small chance of rain later this afternoon but I'm not holding my breath. We are officially in drought. The yard is brown, the pastures aren't growing, the hay fields will be sparse.

A damp deck, that's it. Mark's tri-pod kitty scooted past me when I opened the door to look outside, the bad girl never makes a break for it. I didn't bother trying to get her, she thinks very little of me and lets me know it at every turn. Mark followed her to the end of the sidewalk where she decided he could pick her up. Now she is meowing at the door to go out. A three-legged cat doesn't stand much of a chance outside. We will need to have cat radar for awhile. Good thing I think more of her than she does me.

On a different subject, I joined a book club through the county library system. They meet once a month via Zoom. Strange as this may seem, considering two years of Covid, I have never used Zoom or any other video call. I have a video doctor followup visit next month, I'll find out how many ways I can screw that up before I need to do the same with Zoom. 

I am a natural loner living in an area which doesn't help that tendency. When I ran the horse business people were always around. I also travelled to horse shows, clinics and training barns when I had a horse in training. There isn't much community activity here and incase you don't know this, Minnesotans aren't all that friendly. This is a closed community. I tried a few years ago to get involved; a garden club, a theatre and arts group, volunteering at the food shelf. Politeness but you aren't let in. I wasn't needed at the food shelf, there were so many volunteering, I was put in the basement sorting candy. By myself. There is a saying here. A Minnesotan will give you directions to anywhere but their house. It is true. I am not immune to being Minnesotan myself. I do hope to have some camaraderie with book lovers on Zoom. Too much time with myself has gotten very, very old. I find I'm not all that interesting. Not in constant doses anyway.

My deaf dog still barks, she is having a fit about something, probably nothing. It's as good a time as any to leave the page and see what she thinks is urgent. 👋

 

Bit by Bit, How Change Comes

Mark started to lament about a diet. I calmed him by saying you are not on a diet. Very little will change in what you eat. You will eat less  and that can be incremental. It seemed to work. Last evening we did have pasta, just less of it. A serving is 2/3 cup dry. I had half of that, which isn't unusual for me, and he had the full serving, which is less for him. I sautéed two medium zucchini which gave us a full bowl, along with a little sausage leftover from the stuffed zucchini the evening before. As long as I can fill a bowl or plate for him he will be fine. He never gained weight until recently and ate a lot. I understand. I was the same, but it only lasted into my forties, so he had a long run. He will lose weight, I will not. Que sera sera.

I watched the January 6 hearing last night. I read FOX didn't air it. I don't think it matters that they didn't. I'm an armchair analyst, I know, but (there's always a but), holy moly Rocky. Is a president a King? What does it take? 

Anyway....we are potentially in for some serious weather overnight and into tomorrow. The weather gods don't care what I say, but I say it anyway. Please, just rain. We desperately need rain.

Mark just told me he's brought in more zucchini. We overflow! 

Tarnished Oldies

Mark had another doctor appointment today, a urologist. Mark's dad died from prostate cancer and two brothers have it. He is scheduled for an MRI and then a biopsy next month. It feels like a lot at once and I do not handle stress at all well since my TBI. The queen of stress management loses it pretty fast these days. Just telling me this set me off this morning. I now feel drained of what little energy I had. In the span of a month Mark has been told he's pre-diabetic, had a cancerous growth removed from his arm and now this. My damaged brain is jumbled. Aging and health issues, they go together like a horse and carriage.

Mark was told by his primary losing some weight would be helpful regarding the diabetes. The doctor today said losing some weight would be helpful. Mark isn't particularly overweight, not like me, he has that man belly many older males get. Everything else is trim, there is just that gut. All month I've been tying to get him to understand he has to be more careful about his carb intake, like talking to a brick wall. Today he's gung-ho about weight loss. Whatever works, it got through to him. 

Which brings me to this relic. It's about 15 years old but it still works. At least it did the last time I stepped on it. I call it my passage to nowhere. My inability to walk wasn't helped by the treadmill, it caused too much pain. What has helped is my pedal machine. I'm now at a place where I think I can do some short bouts going nowhere slow. Mark does all the barn work and handles and feeds the horses so exercise isn't an issue for him. He gets plenty of walking and lots of lifting. It's why I still have muscle mass at my age and current condition. At least that's what the physical therapist told me. I have an appointment next month with Pain Management and Rehab, I really don't know what it entails. As I write all of this I'm aware it seems we are falling apart! 

I'll crank up the old treadmill, take my slow journey, make smaller portions for both of us and hope for the best. Bette Davis was spot on when she quipped getting old ain't for sissies.

Cat Days of Summer

why, oh why, do they come at once?

The zucchini is prolific. Bill, my neighbor, brought me the summer squash, I hadn't the heart to say no. My one plant is the size of a small planet and producing like a rabbit. Yes, hyperbole, but just a tad. I'll be stuffing zucchini for tonight's dinner, sautéing zucchini just about every evening and shredding and freezing what I can't use.  Whew!

We have had a summer of heat and horrid humidity. Other than watering the plants and picking the zukes nothing is getting done outside. Today we are having a bit of a break, which is much appreciated. Mark got a call from the dermatologist yesterday. The biopsy came back malignant. The good news is he got it all, but Mark now needs to go in every quarter. It was a shock, but then we took a collective deep breath and registered the fact that he had a malignant growth which is gone. He does not have cancer. He'll be diligent to make sure he doesn't have cancer from a melanoma in the future.

Keetah still can't hear but she has adapted much better than I ever thought she would. I'm beginning to lose hope. The positive is she seems ok. There are many positives I need to remind myself of. The ancient a/c worked during the worst of the heat, Mark is strong and healthy, I am managing to navigate my ups and downs and the cats are happy to have the door to the screened porch open so they can luxuriate in the moderated summer heat. 

Another Day, or, Yes It's Hot

I wouldn't be me if I let a week go without a trite photo of food. I am unabashedly me!

The first zucchini of the season, but surely not the last. I found a large one hiding under the plant which I will stuff tomorrow. I need to pick some more or I will have zucchini the size of groundhogs by the next day. I have two sweet basil and two Italian basil plants, they are flourishing in this high humidity, me....nope. The wilted lily, am I. Everything is being adorned with basil these days, not that this is a problem. Mark is a dutiful man watering all those pots and tanks. He'd rather carry five gallon pails than pull a hose around, which I understand if you can do it. I cannot do it. 

It's another quiet, sultry day. If this keeps up I may develop a southern drawl. I never came close, though, when I lived in Atlanta. I sure would like to do some things outside, but I tell you what, I am not made for this. So, I stay inside and dream of winter! Or, at least mid October. If I didn't have weather to complain about I'm not sure I'd have anything at all. Ha! Not likely.

So, Cara Mia blogosphere, enjoy your moments as they come.