We had a quiet Sunday. Mark was recovering from two days of family socializing. I was recovering from life in my slow lane. A thought just came to me.....I come from a family that had hardly any contact with other family members. My mother's personality disorder drove everyone away, so it was us and my grandma. My three serious relationships, two of them marriages, were/is with men from large families. Mark, from a family of ten children, is the largest. And the unfriendly one. If I could have taken my first mother-in-law in the divorce, I would have! She was probably the best person I've ever known. Well, now, this was a divergence.
Carrying on. Although it was warm, there wasn't humidity. So I made bread. I don't know why, I really enjoy bread making. Probably memories of my grandma. I sat in the shade on the back porch with an audiobook for a couple of hours, no mosquitoes or flies. It was lovely. I did not let all of the things needing doing niggle at me, not at all. A perfect day.
Today is laundry, more hay delivery and lunch from the deli. The family gathering Mark attended Saturday was a seafood boil. One of his brothers likes to do this. There were a lot of shrimp leftover, some of which Mark brought home. I used half of it for dinner, the other half will be another dinner, probably tonight. It needs to be used. It's a good thing we like shrimp.
That's about it.
24 comments:
I was engaged a couple of times before I finally found a keeper. My first potential mil was a bullet dodged, the second I wished I could have her when I ditched her son. My actual mil was a tiny sweet lady who died before I got to know her. So I was spared the mil over a long time marriage. They can complicate things.
All these men were one of two or three, intrigued by my huge clan, without understanding the situation in the slightest.
Mark's mother was a religious hypocrite with a mean streak. I simply removed myself, but did so because I was pushed out. Number one and two had open, welcoming families, just a bit overwhelming for someone without family. We do mirror one another in many ways!
My Mother in Law did not like me and she let me know it! Laundry day here too...although I seem to do a load every other day most days. The shrimp looks yummy!
My family had (and has) hardly any contact with other family members. My sister and brother in law and niece keep themselves to themselves and I haven't met up with them for quite a while. As for my father, he refused to speak to me for 20 years. He had all sorts of absurd grudges against me.
My mother and your mom sound so much alike. Sorry for that. My mom told her friends I was dead when she threw me out...or dared me and I went...
My brother and sister won't talk to me because mom said they shouldn't...or at least I think that is the reason.
My mom and her mom were so close until mom fought with her mom and her mom moved out of her house and had to live with one of her daughters.
My mom went to her mother's funeral to make damn sure she was dead after 20 years of silence.
I sure do love [not] family drama. When I met my current husband I was so grateful to be welcomed into a small but loving family.
Anyway. I'd write this all on my blog but I think my brother would take offense to airing family laundry.
I would love some of that shrimp!
You can write here whenever you want. I have found it's important to speak of these things, rather than perpetuating the myth. I covered for my mother almost my whole life, no matter what she said or did. I finally freed myself and in the four years since her death I have faced the mess. I've often said if it weren't for my grandma, I would likely have been found in an alley with a needle in my arm. Believe me, I understand.
nick, over the years I have learned so many families are broken or at the least bruised. It seems to be part of the human condition.
We will have it again with rice and cajun seasoning tonight.
My side of the family is so small. Effectively, I was an only of two onlies.Sue’s side is larger, but there has also been some attrition.
Why do people have a problem with civility? It’s not difficult. Meanness , rudeness accomplishes nothing. It didn’t make you MILs life any better
AC, my family is Mark and my son. Large families are a bit to handle. Even those that accepted me. You probably are the same way.
Family is why I keep myself to myself, though old age and attrition are helping these days. I am civil and even kind because distance makes that easier.
Thank you so much Sandra, having a good place to go with trusted friends is a good thing.
Like so many others, our two families were not close in any way. MILs can be very interesting and they seem to resent you taking their sons away from them. We have been married for 57 years and are still kicking.
Bread making is wonderful. A peaceful craft, I find. Your day sounds good. Mine was spent at the vet with Bug. She's okay. Fingers crossed. Back to work tomorrow.
I have been married to Tim for 40yrs, just saying, also neither his mum or dad really liked me, their loss, I'm mostly likable, I don't judge and I try to be kind but I didn't like how my husband was treated, I never said anything but I suspect how I felt showed on my face and with my body language
It sure does, e. I never asked Mark to give up his family, I just removed myself. It works.
It is, Val. It's important to feel you can speak your emotions.
It is interesting. It always seems to be the mother of the son. You and Gary are doing better than kicking. You're kicking a$$!
I'm sorry Bug was unwell. Fingers are crossed.
Hi, Jo-Anne. I think I'm mostly likable, too. People will be what they are and we can't change them. So, we accept it or move on. Accepting does not mean liking.
Bread making is comforting for me, Sandra, and I have just resume making it with a couple of focaccia recipes and a no knead bread. We also like shrimp and there is usually a bag or two in the freezer. My family was very small, just my brother and myself and a couple of aunts and uncles with a scattering of cousins.
There is something about making bread, Dorothy.
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