My name is Sandra and I am a food hoarder.
I have a food insecurity or perhaps more accurately, I use food, not the eating, but the keeping, as a security. I have not understood it until recently, when a friend who is a psychiatric nurse, told me it's not about the food. It's about control.
I came from a financially stable home. That was the only thing stable about that home. I understand my need for order, but why every cupboard, pantry space, shelf has to full with dry goods? Freezer packed to the breaking point and no empty spaces in the refrigerator? I never knew a hungry moment in my life. When my friend said this to me, I started to understand this very strange need.
As children we are at the whim of the adults around us. Depending on who or what those adults are, coping mechanisms are formed. I formed several and control has always been at the forefront. Overstocking food was never about deprivation of food.
It's so deeply ingrained in my psyche I will never change and that's ok. It's not the worst trait. I don't hoard food in that I don't use it. Hoard is the wrong word. I cannot have empty spaces, so what has been removed must be replaced. And everything must be placed front forward! Yep. That's me.
The conversations about food preservation, finding ways to avoid waste, both food and other things, brought this to my mind. I don't mind opening a curtain into my life, showing some of the oddities. That I can be obsessive I think is evidenced by my horse collection! That I cared for myself.
I had something entirely different I was going to write about, I sat down and this is what passed through my fingers. Another thing about me, I do things like that. Plan, work something out and then do a thing not even close to what I had planned. People are odd beings, I think. If you ever visit my house, walk through the pantry, see every can facing forward, all items in a row and think "at least she isn't hurting anyone"!
14 comments:
Very, very interesting. I, on the other hand, am opposite. I make a menu for ten days, purchase what needs to be bought and then do the same ten days later. I do have flours and some canned foods and other things on hand but am meticulous about watching the dates on them and throw them out if, and when, that date passes. Unlike you, I suffered malnutrition and food insecurity until adulthood. So, it is a wonder, according to your theory then, that I do not hoard food and other things. Hummmmm! I will have to think some more on that!
Peace Thyme, it’s all part and parcel. I believe it’s how you decide to control your environment. I overstock. You plan and carry out the plan. You monitor dates, I do not. You are actually displaying control. I am doing the opposite. There, therapy session is over!
It takes different people different ways. Handsome partner and I both lived as children through war, bombardment of our towns, rationing that was just a shade above malnutrition.
He, as a adult, could not be comfortable without an array of canned foods and several pounds of sugar always in his apartment. I, seeing shops with actual food always in them, not pictures of food on empty shelves as the shops of my childhood, am happy to just provide as I go, knowing I can buy again when I need to, and that I will have the money to shop. Different folks, coping different ways.
I've always been one to stockpile too. I think part of might come from my ancestors, all very poor people who probably never had enough. The stresses that happen to our ancestors can affect our gene expression, epigenetics. At least that's my excuse because I've never been short of food either and yet my pantry is probably the same as yours'.
I do not view you as a hoarder. I see you as someone who does not like to waste things from the garden or the store....and having a packed freezer is a good thing. Your meals are always very creative and look delicious in your photos. We all deal with shopping, storing, cooking and eating in such different ways. I believe that I am very organized, but not obsessive. Fortunately we are able to buy groceries, even tho the prices have gone crazy. (Have given up on a few items that I used to buy to make up the $$$ difference). As for control.....that is not so unusual.
And I understand your horse collection!
Boud, you came out of that experience with practicality. I grew up in the abundant 1950s, those problems didn't exist for me.
Pixie, our similarities have not escaped my attention! I didn't understand why until my friend gave me insight.
Lori, yes, hoarder isn't the word. Seeker of security is what it really is. No, there is nothing wrong with it, other than the pull of compulsion. We could survive for some time, which isn't a bad thing. During the great toilet paper shortage I had no worries!
Now, the horse collection...that did get a LITTLE out of hand. : )
I think Minnesota people keep more food on hand than other people. It could storm for a week...like in the olden days:) I have a pantry at home where I keep a good amount of supplies and I rotate through them replacing as I use them. I used to arrange things in order. When I was little we never had enough good food...vegetables and fruits were a treat...we usually had meat and potatoes or macaroni with clumps of tomato.
My Grandparents saved everything and when Grandpa had Dump Duty, he'd bring back clothes that the city folk dumped for us kids. Everything was saved and reused in some way. Cans were washed and used to hold bolts or as planters to start veggie seeds in. Old window were turned into hot beds.
The dirt basement had shelves of home canned goods that would feed a family of 10 for a year at all times. They had a deep freeze in the garage that was packed.
My mom was the same way.
I am a bit that way as we learned from our parents and grandparents who told us how tough things were during the first WW, the depression and rationing during WWII.
Once in a great while I get the urge to organize and tidy up.
Interesting about the control issue. We all do things in our own way to maintain control of something. Maybe that is why I like play and imagination.
I don't have to be the super adult for those moments.
Far Side, so true! No matter what your DNA says, if you are Minnesotan you are Norsk! I never wanted for food, including fruit and veg. You go even further north for winter and 'clan'. I love the idea of it, I just don't have a clan!
Your grandparents sound like mine, Val.Both were first generation, raised by immigrants. I learned a lot from my grandma.
I get the urge to tidy up but the body isn't willing. Drives me batty.
I admire and kind of envy your ability to play. And to spend hours in the woods.
I have the same need for order and started stocking up in 2020. I think the pandemic, which is not "over" triggered me big time. I'm sorry for what you went through as a kid.
e, my stockpiling saved the toilet paper day when the pandemic started. I had plenty of that! The pandemic is not over. We still mask, if for no other reason because we have enjoyed not having a cold for 2 years! My childhood and life until my mother died is lived by so many. People don't like to think of parents, especially a mother, as a monster. Yet, they are everywhere. In various forms. Thanks.
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