Two more hot, sultry days and then relief is on the way. You know those commercials where the man is trying to keep people from turning into their parents? One of the issues is constantly talking about the weather. I think perhaps I need intervention.
Since I found out about the death of someone I knew well nearly half a century ago I've periodly thought about what defines a person. This person was not the person I knew any more than I am the one he knew. If I had to give a brief synopsis of myself, what would it be? As is apparent, I have time on my hands for contemplation of life. I don't know anyone from my past anymore, other than my son and Mark. People slip away, although there are those who maintain relationships. My son is one of those people. He has friends still in his life from childhood and they will remain in his life.
At one time the first thing I would have said is, I am a mother. I am still a mother, but not in the mothering way. Now it's simply a fact. I was just thinking I am a rescuer of dogs, but I'm not. Not anymore, yet that came to mind. The what was. What is? I am a sucker for stray cats. I am a caretaker of elderly horses. I am a lover of flower gardens and herbs. I am a baker of bread and a maker of meals. I am a reader of books, or these days more accurately, a listener of books. I am not one to be stuck in the details. I am still one who tends to jump before looking, the leaps are simply smaller. I am flexible and I am rigid. Neil Diamond just came to mind, 🎼 I am I said, I am said I.....🎼. Music, I am a lover of music. It still defines much of my life. I am lucky, I am married to someone who is my best friend. I am evolving.
20 comments:
As we go through life we all evolve and change. I am not the shy naive person I was when I left home. I look back on what I have done and wonder if I should have done differently and say NOPE. I am what I am and I wonder what I shall be.
Pondering life is a good thing. Looking back and looking forward is natural.
You are ... you said. And that is good enough.
That song is perfect and now I can't get it out of my head!
Val, I love that song. I hadn't known Mark very long when he took me to a Neil Diamond concert in St. Paul. Sorta clinched the deal. It popped into my head as I was typing. I would change somethings in my past if I could, but I cannot. So, they remain a part of who I am and maybe I'm the better for that. I have not been a person who looks back. I have mostly been an in the moment person. Age had indeed mellowed me, also given me time for contemplation. I don't know if this is good or bad.
We are different than we were but also the same, I think.
I have more dead friends than live ones at this point. I'm sorry about the loss of your friend, even from the past. I have one childhood friend I keep up with. She lives in Michigan and we talk regularly. I learned to walk away from friends as a kid and focus more on an inner world. I was bullied. I have little tolerance for drama or crap and will not go after people who walk away from me, even so-called family. I hope your AC works. How do you like the audiobook?
AC, some things don't change. We are born with a personality which does get massaged into something changed a bit along the way. I am not as guarded as I was, but I will always have that wall there in some form or another. I am softer, but the sting still exists. This is how change happens, I think. Modification or enhancement.
We do change over a long life. Young you isn't a lot like present you. But everything we've experienced makes us who we are today. For better or worse!
e, I understand what you say. I was bullied in the neighborhood and in the home. I learned to stay in my room with a book. You do learn to let go rather easily because of this. I have no one from those days in my life. That's ok. The ac is working, hurrah!
Boud, for sure. I'm not as sharp edged as I was. That is a good thing. Horses helped a lot in that area. In my case I would say the change at this point is mostly for the better.
It been on the warm side.
Too warm, Dora.
I've had a few dear old friends pass away (that I really miss), but I still keep in contact with the girl I grew up next door to I met when I was five and she was seven...and another girl who moved into the neighborhood for only a couple of years between when we were about 8-10 years old (we both loved animals a lot). So I do have some very old friends. Never have asked them if I am any different from when we were kids. From what they have said over the years, they still remember me well from back then and have remarked that even when a few years have gone by when we weren't in touch it was always like we had just chatted over coffee the day before--lol! I think I was always a bit weird and open and positive...I just learned as I aged how apparently different I was--am--ROFL!
But people do come and go in your life over the years. So many. Thankfully I have met more nice people than not nice people. But some of those bad ones--uffdah!
I am a present moment type of person, too! People think I am one to make rash big decisions or leaps, but I have inevitably already thought through the pros and cons. In the end, though, I will follow my guts and heart...and have never regretted it. Not one to "what if" my life or look backwards. I always find positive things I have learned no matter what--even if it was a rough road chosen. ;)
Thanks for the post today. Contemplative. Loved it! :)
I think I have changed more in the last 10 years than all the decades before. Sometimes I wonder if it is for the better or for the worse.
Oh I love Neil Diamond! You are enough...and if you are happy well that is a really good thing. :)
Rita, your positive vibes jump off the screen, you have personality! I can see you as a person who has lifelong relationships. People are drawn to lively, open personalities. I am more reserved, not shy, just watchful. And a little too blunt for Minnesota!
More people have gone over the years. Many where in my life for a certain reason and when that reason was no more, either were they. I think fundamentally we don't change. It's the edges that shift. An experience which opens our eyes, Time wearing down barriers.
We in the moment people can appear rash but we aren't, as you said.We make decisions.
MissMerry, you appear to have a full and happy life so I would think certainly not for the worse. Entering the later years is a changing experience. We need to figure out this chapter of life.
Far Side, me too! In the later '70s his concert sold out fast. When Mark told me he got tickets, I thought he hung the world!
My job now is to be as healthy and happy as I can be so my daughter doesn’t have to worry about me. Falling and breaking my hip was a oopsie, but we’re all handling it fine.
Cheerful, you are a ray of sunshine. I can't imagine you staying down. A broken hip is a glitch that will be remedied!
I often wonder if I'm the only person who loses touch with old friends but apparently I'm not and thank you for that. I continue to make new friends and I realize now that I'm retired, I will need to find new friends. My best friend has cancer and I don't know how long she will live, sounds awful but she's a big support for me and without her, I will need someone else. We all do. Should I take an ad out?
Best friend needed, prefer under sixty, so you will outlive me and female. Must like walking, dogs, dirty jokes and be willing to talk on a phone, not just text.
No, Pixie, you are not. You and I have had similar childhood experiences and that does shape how you relate to others. A good friend died of cancer several years ago. It left a hole. It is much more difficult to make friends in the older years, especially for introverted people.
I'm well over sixty and live many, many miles away and in another country. I know how to FaceTime! Just saying........
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